The Ugly Volvo

(What Actually Happened) On The Night You Were Born

My son has this beautiful book called “On the Night You Were Born.”  The illustrations are surreal but simple images of animals and plants and the night sky.  The rhymes are sweet.  The entire book is to tell the child how much they are loved and cared about and how on the night they were born the entire earth celebrated their existence.  When you’re reading it while rocking your child to sleep it’s hard sometimes not to get a little choked up.

night you were born

But of course there are other nights when I suddenly remember the actual night my son was born and (spoiler alert) the polar bears do not dance until dawn in that version.  That version involved a hospital and a bunch of blood.  Nancy Tillman was not there holding my hand and telling me it would be ok and in general things got a bit stressful.  Having my son was magical at times, but the actual night he was born wasn’t particularly magical, it was kind of rough.  Which is why when someone told me that you can buy a personalized copy of On The Night You Were Born I immediately thought, “WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT THAT?  THAT WOULD BE THE WORST BOOK TO READ TO CHILDREN,” because, like a total idiot, I thought it was your actual literal birth story written out with Nancy Tillman’s illustrations.  (For the record, I think they just include your child’s name in the title—On the Night You Were Born, Mallory—and have a personalized introduction page.)

But of course once I started thinking about writing out my actual birth story, how could I not do it?   Sorry I didn’t have time to re-create all the illustrations but my kid no longer naps.  My apologies to Nancy Tillman for this far inferior (though more true to life) version of her beautiful book.

 

To My Son:

night born theuglyvolvo 1

On the night you were born, the moon smiled with such wonder.

And your father whispered, “Hey, do you want to order in Vietnamese food?” and I was like, “Yeah, I love Vietnamese food, that sounds great.”

 

night born theuglyvolvo 1.1

So enchanted was I with the spring rolls I had, but I felt sort of weird and I felt sort of bad.

(The feeling I felt was a magical one but became much less magical as the night wore on.  Let’s say it out loud before we go on: contraaaactions.)

night born attending theuglyvolvo

I sailed through the kitchen, starting to seethe

Clutching my stomach

And trying to breathe.

Until everyone heard it and everyone knew and my husband was like, “Wow, this is advancing really quickly, should I call a cab to take us to the hospital?” and I was like, “No, the doctor-on-call told me to wait until the contractions are a minute in length.”

 

night born 1.7

Not once had there been such confusion.  Such pain.  A feeling as though I’d been hit by a train.

(In fact I think I’ll count to three and we can run through how I was supposed to do that breathing thing again.)

 

night born 1.8

 When the polar bears heard, they were like, “Um– if your contractions are 3 minutes apart you should really be in the hospital.

night born 1.9

 

From far away places the geese were like, “SERIOUSLY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  PLEASE CALL A CAB IMMEDIATELY.”

 

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The moon stayed up until morning next day, at which point it actually picked up the phone and was like, “Hi, this is the moon.  I need a cab for an insane pregnant woman who’s afraid of getting to the hospital too early and being told to go back home.  Can you be here in 15 minutes?  Great, thanks.”

 

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And none of the ladybugs was fully able to explain “back labor.”

 

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So if you ever wonder how special you are

And you ask, “Was my birth night completely bizarre?”

Listen for geese honking high in the sky.

(They’re going, “So sorry, your mom didn’t get there in time for an epidural.”)

Or notice the bears asleep at the zoo

(It’s because they’re exhausted from telling me to PUSH– PUSH NOW.  WE NEED YOU TO PUSH.)

Or drift off to sleep the sound of the wind.

That’s what I felt like doing when that whole ordeal was over but then all the extended family showed up and I felt like falling asleep would be rude.

night born 2.3

 And never again in story or rhyme

(not even once upon a time)

would I feel like going through that again

so I’m really sorry if you were hoping to have a whole bunch of siblings.

night you were born the ugly volvo final

So…the night you were born?  Was less magic than pain.

There were no singing oak trees and no gentle rain.

There were no dancing mammals with shimmering fur

 

And yet, were you worth it?

Without question, you were.

 

 

         *               *                *

Thanks for reading.  If you’d like to read a much more beautiful version of the night your child was born, here is a link to buy the actual book, which you should totally do.

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Comments

18 responses to “(What Actually Happened) On The Night You Were Born”

  1. Brilliant!!

  2. caroline Avatar
    caroline

    I like you version better 🙂

  3. Amy Coppola Avatar
    Amy Coppola

    This is awesome! At what point do you think I should rectify my sons firm belief that those are his footprints in the back of the book? Just curious.

  4. Florentine Lempp-Dagan Avatar
    Florentine Lempp-Dagan

    Beautiful. I prefer your version. I’d totally buy it if you could get a publisher (and somehow around the copyright issue).

  5. Christie Avatar
    Christie

    Thank you for this. I actually don’t buy or check out books like this just because of how incredibly far from the truth they are in my case. After being in labour for four days and walking all night I gave birth naturally with a midwife who kept doing something I know now is called “birth rape.” If both hands being shoved inside unexpectedly, repeatedly, without my consent or knowledge ahead of time wasn’t bad enough, I had her literally screaming at me for not being able to push because the baby was stuck and I was tired. She did an episiotomy at the wrong time (white hot pain beyond belief), then had to make the cuts bigger and nicked a sensitive area by mistake. And then shoved the hands in again. I almost died, actually…I drifted deep into this lovely cool darkness and almost chose to stay… and that means my girl almost died too. When the midwife finally managed to pull her out I thought she was dead. That is my first image of my daughter: still and covered with that stuff I’ve forgotten the name of and looking like a dead baby. My whole world just stopped and stood still and there was no sound, so I missed the sound of her crying and the sight of her drawing breath. She was alive! I remember getting to hold her and hold her before they took her away to be cleaned up and so I could be stitched up (this time there was anesthesia). She was pulled out at exactly 4 pm. And then after that, exhausted beyond anything I’d ever known after a sleepless night and lots of nights of half sleep not to mention the birth trauma, I got to hold her and try to feed her while everyone else around me took naps. The midwife sent us home that same night, so I finally got some rest at around 9 pm in the car, where I slept next to my little tiny perfect girl. And then we had a few days before having to take our baby to a hospital for jaundice so she could be treated and we could be screamed at some more. Seriously, what is with the screaming medical “professionals?” So. I have PTSD from my birth experience. Last summer when she turned 4 was the first birthday that I didn’t have major flashbacks and nightmares. I am moving on, finally, but they don’t really make children’s books out of our kind of experience. lol if they did, I doubt anyone would want to have kids! When I tell her about it I try to focus on the few positive things I can scrape together, like that her grandparents as well as her daddy were there for the whole thing, and how when I held her I knew I had never loved anyone in the whole world so much. She knows the bare bones about the birth, like that she was stuck for a long time and a woman had to pull her out, but I’ve tried not to get too much in depth with all of that yet. Sorry this is such a long response, and it’s probably TMI, but I just wanted to explain that you are really striking a chord, as you always do.

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      Thanks. Sorry your experience was so awful. I obviously know what the book means and what it’s intention is but over the years I’ve heard some pretty horrific birth stories. Glad yours is slowly receding into the past but sorry you had to go through that.

  6. My daughter loved this book so much I could retell the entire thing from across the room as my husband flipped pages. The monotony would have been much better as your version. Thank you!!!!

  7. And this. This is why I subscribe. So I can holler “Haha, yes! On point!” And then add softly with a tear in my eye, “yes, so true” when you bring it round at the end and get all sappy. Don’t ever stop writing!

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      Thanks, this comment was the best 🙂

  8. Oh my gosh I’m laying here 8.5 months pregnant with number 3 and laughing so hard…ok and also kind of peeing a little.

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      No worries, I’m 3 years post pregnancy and I just peed myself after getting startled by a vacuum.

  9. Love your version! There’s a sequel to this point that came out recently as well, “Wherever You Are, My Love Will Find You”

  10. hope levav Avatar
    hope levav

    fantastic!! BIG smile on my face right now! thanks so much.

  11. Hannah D Avatar
    Hannah D

    Your version made me tear up worse than the original. This was great

  12. That. was. awesome!! I will never read the book quite the same again 🙂 lol

    – From a fellow “there’s no time for an epidural??” comrade!

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      ugh, our club SUCKS 😉

  13. bets shafer Avatar
    bets shafer

    I have five children, one of whom was 9 lbs., 14 oz., to the surprise of everyone (no ultrasound then–he was born in a small Eastern-Canadian hospital in 1971). Two were born at home (because we planned it that way). I could write five loony stories!

  14. Hmm yes, a much more realistic version. Cried with laughter at the confirmation that there were definitely no giraffes- could have been had you had that epidural and topped it up with some gas ? Love it!

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