I am a writer and stand up comic raising a child in Jersey City.  I live in a two bedroom apartment that I foolishly thought would be big enough for three people and a dog and all of the stuff that comes along with having a baby.  Clearly I am an idiot.

If you need or would like to reach me, drop me a line at theuglyvolvo@gmail.com.

I read every single comment people take the time to post, both on the blog and on my Facebook page.  I don’t respond to all of them because there are not enough hours in the day but please know that I read them and appreciate comments so much.  Knowing that a post was enjoyed is the fastest way to totally make my day.

I have an occasionally dark sense of humor.  Nothing I write is ever intended to offend.   Most of what I write is nonsense.

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PLEASE DO NOT FEED TWIZZLERS TO THE BUTTERFLIES

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I’m not sure what else is relevant, so here is a version of the “About Me” I used for a tutoring service I used to work for.  And yes, I know it should be “a tutoring service for which I used to work.”  Sometimes I will end sentences in prepositions.  I know it is wrong.  I am sorry.  But sometimes it sounds better.  Sometimes I will also use “their” when I know I am supposed to use “his/her.”  Please know that every time I do it I feel terrible.

About Me

Here is some information About Me!

I watch a lot of documentaries on Instant Netflix.    I love “‘The World According to Garp” and everything by Shel Silverstein and I read The New Yorker but mainly I read it for the cartoons.  I have a phobia of jewelry.   I have a horrible sweet tooth and could easily eat nine boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch in one sitting.   Sometimes I daydream about living in other countries and then immediately go online to look up the size of the spiders in those countries.

I wear almost the exact same outfit every day.  I am married to someone who speaks three languages and there are days when I feel like I barely speak English.  I love stand-up comedy and Far Side cartoons and books about science.   When I like songs I will obsessively listen to them on repeat for  hours or days until everyone nearby wants to throw me and my CD player out a window.

I have a very nice mother and an eccentric father.  I have two younger sisters and a dog named Tig and a husband who obsessively follows international weather patterns the way other men follow sports.   I have a wonderful, wonderful son who makes me smile a lot of the time.  My first car was an old, ugly Volvo that I loved and that’s why the blog is called The Ugly Volvo.  I wish there were a more interesting story behind it but there isn’t.

If you enjoy my posts, “like” The Ugly Volvo on Facebook or follow me on here (theuglyvolvo.com) or follow me at @theuglyvolvo on Twitter.  If there’s a post you like, please share it with friends as I love writing but am notoriously bad at promoting things.  I try to post at least once a week.

Here is a hastily taken picture of me, the baby, the dog, and the humidifier that I keep meaning to return because it stopped working.