babies – The Ugly Volvo

Why You Should Never, Ever, Ever Get A Tattoo (but Having a Baby is Fine)

I’m not super pro-tattoo or anti-tattoo. I’ve debated getting one in the past but never that seriously. But my mother is vehemently anti-tattoo. Listed below are the reasons my mother has always given me for why I shouldn’t get a tattoo. And I understand that she’s from a different generation. And I love my mother very much.…

An Open Letter to My Dog After the Birth of my First Child

Dear Tig, Here’s a list of things for which I want to apologize: 1. I’m sorry for every time I loop your leash around the doorknob and hurriedly say, “Two minutes! I’m going to take you outside in two minutes!” Because I am not going to do that. You know, as you watch me struggling…

The Best Part of Parenting is that Everything Always Goes Flawlessly

I was kind of excited to give my son food for the first time because I love food. Not making it, but eating it. And also because the books you read about having a baby portray all of the milestones as being kind of magical. “Giving him his first solid food? It’ll be magical! Experimenting…

Your Baby’s Cries: DECIPHERED

So one of the things that made me the most nervous about having a baby was not being able to tell why he was crying. And I read plenty of articles and talked to plenty of experienced mothers who said, “Don’t worry! Your maternal instinct will kick in and you’ll be able to figure out…

Easy Ways to Adultproof Your Home

So I have a baby who’ll be mobile in a few months/weeks/minutes and my coffee table is constructed out of jagged splinters that are held together by rusted nails and broken pieces of metal. Here is a close-up picture of what it looks like: So obviously this cannot be anywhere near a baby who is…

A Baby Book of Disasters