The Ugly Volvo

All of my Issues With the “Goodnight Moon” Bedroom

I’ve read Goodnight Moon almost every night for the past two years.  It’s a wonderful book which my son enjoys.  Here are some of my issues with the bedroom depicted in it.

1.  The Size of the Bedroom

aa goodnight moon 1
Nice bedroom and/or place to possibly hold the 2024 Olympics

This bedroom is enormous.  There is no one, I think, who has not noticed this.  As someone who has lived in apartments only slightly larger than “a little toy house,” it’s mildly vexing that this bedroom is the size of a banquet hall in Downton Abbey.

 

2. The Little Toy house.

This little toy house would rent out for $2500 a month in Manhattan (not including utilities)
This little toy house would rent out for $2500 a month in Manhattan (not including utilities)

This is not that little of a toy house.  Not only could the rabbit easily fit inside the “little toy house,” the little toy house also has working electricity.  Why are these rabbits so civilized?  Is this some f**ked up Watership Down sequel???

 

3. This Just-Discovered Transcript of a Conversation Had by the Interior Decorators

The color scheme we're going for is "exploded paint factory."
The color scheme we’re going for is “exploded paint factory.”

“So what color have we decided on for the upstairs child’s bedroom?”

Which child’s bedroom?”

“The enormous one.  The one with the expansive tomato-colored floor.”

“I was thinking for that room maybe a dark green?”

“Really?  Dark green?  You don’t think maybe dark green walls with a tomato-colored floor is a bit much?”

No, it’ll look amazing.  We can break up the monotony of the color with some dark green and yellow striped curtains.”

“That’s an amazing idea.  On non-matching red and yellow spearhead curtain rods?  Do you think a tiger skin rug would be overkill?”

For a young child’s room?  No.  Not at all.  ”  

4. This Bookshelf

"For tonight would you rather read 'Hop on Pop' or the entire Encyclopedia Britanica?"
“For tonight would you rather read ‘Hop on Pop’ or the entire Encyclopedia Britanica?”

Why are these books so thick?  This is a child’s bedroom, not a law library.  Unless this rabbit is defending a doctoral thesis, there’s no need for him to own every non-fiction hardcover from Farrar Straus and Giroux.

 

5. The Idea That Anyone Would Keep a Comb and a Brush and a Bowl Full of Mush on the Same Table

Almost as appealing as a nailclipper next to a plate of sunny-side up eggs.
Almost as appealing as a nailclipper next to a plate of sunny-side up eggs.

I’m right now trying to picture a situation in which I would place my unwashed hairbrush next to a bowl of cream of wheat and even the idea of it is turning my stomach.

Oh, you’re eating a bowl of warm cereal?  How do you take it?  With milk, cinnamon and dozens of soggy, long white hairs?

*Vomits onto neatly stacked fireplace logs*

 

6. The World’s Smallest Most Useless Clothesline

Somewhere a personal organizer is having an aneurysm from this thing
Somewhere a personal organizer is having an aneurysm from this thing

After living in New York City for almost a decade I’m very big into “intelligent use of space,” and the fact that this much floor space is taken up by a free standing clothesline that’s being used to dry ONE pair of socks and ONE pair of mittens makes me grind my teeth.  Mount it on the wall, idiots!  The people at IKEA would have a seizure if they looked at this room.  Also, isn’t there a laundry room or something?  Just put it in there.

 

7.   Continued…

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
Meanwhile, back at the ranch…

“So what color do you think for the child’s bed?”

I was thinking like a tomato-ish red color?”

“You remember the floor’s a tomato-ish red color.”

Yeah.”

“You don’t think that’s a lot of red for a child’s bedroom?  We don’t want it to look like the Amityville Horror kill room or anything.”

You don’t trust me?  I’ve been decorating children’s bedrooms for almost twenty years.”

“No, I trust you, I trust you.  So you want to do all the furniture in red?”

Are you out of your f**king mind?  Of course not.  For the rest of the furniture I was thinking something sophisticated, like a mustard yellow.”

“For everything??  All the furniture?”

All the furniture.”

“Even the little toy house?”

Are you seriously asking me this?  No.  Of course not.  The little toy house should be red.”

 

8. The Dangerously Non-childproofed Fireplace

Also, nothing says "child's bedroom" like an expensive mantelpiece clock bordered by Cookie Monster-blue funeral urns.
Also, nothing says “child’s bedroom” like an expensive mantelpiece clock bordered by Cookie Monster-blue funeral urns.

Look, I’m not a crazy stickler for safety or anything but shouldn’t there at least be a screen between the roaring open flame and the rest of the nursery?  Also, can we talk about how the heating situation is going to play out?  You’re going to use an old fashioned fireplace to heat a room the size of an elementary school gymnasium when the room has zero radiators and two enormous single-paned windows?  Have fun!  You’ll be totally fine with that thin green blanket you’ve thrown over the kid’s legs!

 

9. The Totally Ignored Existential Mouse

As casual about their infestations as they are exacting about their interior design.
As casual about their infestations as they are exacting about their interior design.

Anyone notice this guy?   What sort of mouse just hangs out in the middle of the carpet in an enormous open room within spitting distance of two cats?  Clearly this illustrator has never had an apartment with mice because real mice creep along the edges of rooms, usually in the dark, along baseboards and under furniture, occasionally chewing through the walls.  Given his devil-may-care attitude, this mouse is obviously lucid in a way we cannot understand, or rabid.

 

10. The idea that a child this young (rabbit or human) would need a black office telephone by his bedside.

"Goodnight, Technologically-out-of-date telephone"
“Goodnight, Technologically-out-of-date telephone”

Who’s calling, his financial adviser?  Why would someone this age need a telephone unless it’s to call the woman across the vast expanse of his bedroom to ask her to stop whispering, “Hush.”

 

11.  This Picture of Bears in a Couples Therapy Session

"So you say your mother was protective. Tell me more..."
“So you say your mother was…protective?”

Husband Bear:  We’ve started fighting more since our son was born.  I feel like she resents me.  I feel like every little thing turns into an argument.”

Wife Bear:  “How could I not resent you?  We have a newborn and you’re off eating salmon in a PBS documentary while I’m stuck at home 24/7.

Husband Bear: “Don’t start, Janet!  That documentary was a once in a lifetime opportunity!”

Therapist Bear:  You sound angry.

Husband Bear:  Brilliant observation!  It took you eight years of graduate school to figure that out?

Therapist Bear:  Let’s all take a deep breath.  In, two three, out, two three…

(They are all silent for several seconds)

Wife Bear:  Also, a tomato red floor seems like a really bold choice for a psychologist’s office, doesn’t it?

Husband Bear:  God, you are so CRITICAL OF EVERYTHING.

Wife Bear:  Ugh.  My mother told me not to marry a grizzly.

*Husband Storms out.  Wife sobs quietly.  Psychologist quietly questions whether he was wise in going with the blue walls and mustard yellow office furniture.*

 12.  And in closing…

"Are we about done decorating this apocalypse of a bedroom?"
“Are we about done decorating this apocalypse of a bedroom?”

“Ok, so the mustard-colored bookcase came in. I had them install it in the corner and fill it with large, antique books. ”

Great, so now all we’re waiting on is the round side table, the rocking chair and the freakishly enormous nightstand.”

“So wait, that’s it on the furniture?  It’s a big room, isn’t there going to be a lot of unused space?  Or are we filling that with toys?”

Actually I was thinking for toys let’s keep it real minimal.  I’m thinking maybe one elephant, one giraffe and then the uncomfortably pink naked dolls on the bookshelf.

“You don’t think maybe he could use a few more toys?  It’s such a huge room and it feels so empty and formal.  You’re sure his parents are going to be ok with it?”

Will his parents be ok with it?  Did I not graduate in the top of my class with a degree in interior design?

“I know, I just—”

Have I not been designing rooms for the past twenty years?

“No, I know!  I just thought—”

How about when I want your opinion I ask for it.”

“Arrggghhh.  I’m…I’m sorry I spoke up.”  (struggles between wanting to storm out in anger and being grateful for this apprenticeship, which he knows is a big deal. )

The End

*          *          *

Welcome to the Club: 100 Parenting Milestones You Never Saw Coming
Welcome to the Club by Raquel D’Apice

 

 If you are going to a baby shower in the near future, I have a book out designed as a gift for new parents called Welcome to the Club: 100 Parenting Milestones You Never Saw Coming that you can purchase through AmazonBarnes and Noble or Indiebound.  Please buy them a copy in addition to the other cute thing you already bought them!

If you enjoyed this piece, please share it and/or follow The Ugly Volvo on Facebook or Twitter.

Also, if you’d like to buy the book Goodnight Moon, do that too!  Despite my making fun of it, it’s a lovely book that I have read about 4,000 times.  It’s around 12 bucks.  My book is also around 12 bucks.  Go nuts.

And if you read Goodnight Moon to your child all the time, please know that somewhere across the world I’m reading it to my child as well and we’re totally like that scene in An American Tail where they’re simultaneously singing “Somewhere Out There” with Fievel and whatever the girl mouse’s name was.*

*Just looked it up.  It was Tanya.


Comments

839 responses to “All of my Issues With the “Goodnight Moon” Bedroom”

  1. My 20 month-old son woke up from his nap 20 minutes ago, but I just let him continue trying to pull random stuffed animals through the lats of his crib (success with two of them), while I sat in the living room, alone, and laughed my head off. Thank you!! What a glorious way to kick off the afternoon block.

  2. I along with a couple of my kids subscribed to Ugly Volvo a few months ago.
    I don’t know about them but this may be my fave thus far!
    Thanks and godspeed,
    Randy

  3. How is there not a Tumblr dedicated solely to the existential mouse in Goodnight Moon? I actually just searched to see if there is, and I at least found “Goodnight Moon as a Poem by Sylvia Plath”: http://seanmccarthycomedy.tumblr.com/post/68055542329/goodnight-moon-as-a-poem-by-sylvia-plath
    Anyway, delightful post as always!

  4. Love the “Bears Couples Therapy Session.”

  5. One time I went to the Connecticut Children’s Museum in New Haven, where they had an exhibit in which they recreated the Great Green Room, life sized. It was just as…trippy as it sounds. Maybe everyone already knows about this; it seems as if everyone should. But I just spent the past 10 minutes searching their website, and I’m panicked now that maybe they’ve done away with this exhibit. I have a toddler again now, and I would be willing to drive 800 miles to New Haven so he could see the Great Green Room in person. I have to go look at Trip Advisor now. Anyway, well done. Usually people save their deconstructive work for Runaway Bunny, and that’s so overdone now.

  6. One time I went to the Connecticut Children’s Museum in New Haven, where they had an exhibit in which they recreated the Great Green Room, life sized. It was just as…trippy as it sounds. Maybe everyone already knows about this; it seems as if everyone should. But I just spent the past 10 minutes searching their website, and I’m panicked now that maybe they’ve done away with this exhibit. I have a toddler again now, and I would be willing to drive 800 miles to New Haven so he could see the Great Green Room in person. I have to go look at Trip Advisor. Anyway, well done. Usually people save their deconstructive work for Runaway Bunny, and that’s so overdone.

  7. This is the funniest thing I have read in a long time. The bears, the neatly placed logs, the mouse. I feel like I have wondered this every time and just powered through because there were no other adults to discuss it with. Brilliant.

  8. I modeled my son’s nursery after the Goodnight Moon room! We had to knock down a few walls to make sure he had the expansive floor plan we were after. And don’t get me started on how many layers of paint it takes to nail that deep green.

    Ok no we didn’t. But I do think we have a mouse on standby somewhere. Great post!

  9. Heather Fuller Avatar
    Heather Fuller

    Your existence warms my heart.

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      as this comment warms mine 🙂

  10. I literally Googled “Clement Hurd” (the illustrator of this book) last night. I had to know whether or not he was on LSD. Sadly, he was just a terrible artist, who apparently hates the parents of small children (the last part wasn’t on Wikipedia, but is obvious to anyone who’s read this book 3 or 4 million times). And can we talk about “Good night nobody”? I’m trying to imagine tucking in my kid and telling him to say night-night the great gaping void on the other side of consciousness. Sweet dreams!

  11. OK – just laughed until tears came.. this has been my daughers choice for the past month.. this is awesome thank you:)

  12. My favourite part is when the mother just disappears for about 10 minutes for no reason.

  13. caroline seguin Avatar
    caroline seguin

    I really love this one! I laughed a lot and really liked it! Thanks again, I love reading your stuff!

  14. Looking forwards to your next post on the Dune version of this book… http://goodnightdune.com/ 🙂

    As usual fan-tastic, almost bursting in tears of laughter 😀

  15. Tab Yang Avatar
    Tab Yang

    I just laughed so hard that I cried. This is second only to your post about what toddlers really want for x-mas. Thank you!

  16. How many times have I read this book, and it never occurred to me to nominate it as an Olympic venue? So, so funny. Have you ever had the distinct pleasure of reading Goodnight Moon’s companion piece, My World? I don’t want to spoil anything, but if you do get your hands on a copy just be sure to have your therapist on speed dial.

  17. Oh, I cannot wait until you graduate to Sheep in a Jeep. Also, the Boxcar Children. Seriously. Between the farm animals drunkenly crashing a jeep and the four orphaned kids surviving off stream water in the woods without Child Services anywhere in sight… Oh, just wait. You’ll see.
    Absolutely brilliant.
    P.S. I had a friend whose husband painted a wall of the nursery to look like… Wait for it… The Goodnight Moon Room. No amount of bear therapy can ever repair that child’s psyche, am I right?

  18. David from England Avatar
    David from England

    And if the old rabbit wants the little ‘un to sleep, stop saying “Hush”, stop clacking those needles, pull the curtains, turn off the lamps, remove all animals and rodents (except the little ‘un, of course), douse the raging inferno and pull the plug on the ‘phone!
    My daughter put me onto your brilliant blog and now I’m reading the British equivalent of “Goodnight Moon” to HER daughter at night

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      Now it’s going to be my life’s mission to read the British Equivalent of this book.

  19. I haven’t laughed this hard in who knows how long!!!!! This is my favorite book and now I will enjoy it even more. Thanks for this! 🙂

  20. It explains alot if you think of the rabbit in bed as not a baby but the equivalent if a 43 year old man.

  21. And on the nightstand next to the telephone is … a copy of “Goodnight Moon”!

  22. we have just been killing ourselves reading this. so hilarious! the bit about the bear skin rug!!!

  23. Love Mother Bear complaining about Father Bear being away eating salmon for PBS while she is home 24/7 with cubs!

  24. This was pretty funny, but a lot of the issues here are just anacrhonisms. The book was published in the early 40s IIRC. So, stuff like the mittens… well, you hung them by the fire to dry them off. And the color scheme is probably mostly due to the high cost (or impossibility?) of real color printing at the time…

    That -is- a pretty cavernous space, though.

  25. I am surprised that you didn’t mention the painting on the left side of the room, above the toy house). It’s not clear on some of the pages, but on one (the “goodnight room” page) you can definitely see that it is a rabbit fly-fishing, and it’s caught something- it’s a… tiny rabbit! What?

  26. Kimberly Marley Avatar
    Kimberly Marley

    The room is huge. That circle rug is huge, but nothing comes close to it.

  27. I would also add that the doll house is creepy when it’s glowing at night like in the book The Dollhouse Murders (a kids book by the way).

  28. I had always thought of it as a small apartment (a large-ish studio) instead of just the child’s bedroom. Makes the fireplace, phone, and bookshelves make more sense. Colors are still weird tho.

  29. Michael Beauchot Avatar
    Michael Beauchot

    The only thing that surprised me was that Kim and Bart getting married didn’t really surprise me. It was perfect – sort of like Ron and Hermione.

    One thing, though. These are talking rabbits – and you’re worried about the room?

  30. ….and inside that nightstand copy is a picture of a nightstand with a copy of Goodnight Moon next to the telephone….and so on, and, on, and on….

  31. Perisoft, thanks so much for bringing me in to this satirical essay.

  32. I think you’re missing the forest for the trees. Clearly this isn’t a child’s bedroom; it’s a studio apartment hosting at least a family of four: mother and father rabbit (probably at their second jobs), granny rabbit (childcare isn’t cheap), and child rabbit. Perhaps that little toy house doubles as a cradle and there is a baby rabbit in there. Only the author and illustrator know for sure.

  33. Martie Hamilton Avatar
    Martie Hamilton

    The story is about a rabbit family. Rabbits may have different ideas about color schemes, and what items are appropriate for a young rabbit’s room. Also rabbits love to dig, and this room is probably not large by rabbit standards. However, I’ve never gotten the “mush” thing. Rabbits don’t eat mush.

  34. what about the absurd size of the bed?

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      I am very mad at myself for not noticing this earlier. (also, my computer is wonky so apologies if this posts twice.)

  35. Katherine Putziger Avatar
    Katherine Putziger

    Now I know why my daughter wanted to install a fireplace in her room. She has this rabbit’s room, these toys and more, many antiques, and the green walls. The rug is brown on wood, though. and her bookcase was not yellow, but full of large books. The antique phone happens to be in her brother’s equally large room, which has a balcony. Her pictures are not bears, though, they are large framed prints by Cassatt, Van Gogh, and Dali, and . It’s a 1920’s house built by a factory owner, so the rooms are not many, but they are large. Antiques are bought as they appear on the market, and you get what you get, so if it is large, so be it. It is true that the hair implements need to stay in the bathroom, and the food in the kitchen. Thanks to this article, I now see the parallel.

  36. Emilayday Avatar
    Emilayday

    Don’t worry, in case the clock on the mantel breaks down, there IS another clock right there on the nightstand. And it’s OK because they will chime loudly every half hour. Perfect for a kid’s room.

  37. Beth-Ann Buitekant Avatar
    Beth-Ann Buitekant

    I think it’s even funnier that you suggest a laundry room…Do you have one in NYC?

  38. While this is a hilarious analysis of interior design, I didn’t even think twice about it. Child development in the 80s was emphasizing red with yellow and green as a great stimulating color scheme for children. And all the parents I’ve talked to love this book. Kids look intently at the different things in this room. We would refer to the bowl as oatmeal. And knowing it is imaginary images makes it even better. No animal knits sweaters but we accept a caring animal as a concerned and loving grandmother.

  39. Bradford Avatar
    Bradford

    No mention of the enormous painting of a rabbit fly-fishing another rabbit out of a stream?

    1. Eva Carlstrom Avatar
      Eva Carlstrom

      That’s one of the illustrations from another of the author’s books, The Runaway Bunny. The baby bunny claims he’s going to turn into various things to run away, and the mommy bunny says she’s going to turn into other things and bring him back. It’s very similar to a folk song called Two Magicians that Steeleye Span recorded a version of. It’s creepy and weird, yes. But in the context of this other creepy weird book, not inexplicably.

  40. The floor is orange.

  41. The great green room is home to nightmares. I loved spotting it in Emily Carroll’s scary graphic novel Through the Woods. http://thebooksmugglers.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/wofl2.jpg

  42. Michelle Lee-Reid Avatar
    Michelle Lee-Reid

    You obviously had fun tearing this book apart (I admit, I’ve done it myself), but many of the things you bring up are easily explained. The bedroom is based on an old nursery found in an English manor house. The nursery was bedroom, playroom, dining room, and living room for the children of the family. Of course, it’s large! (although, yes, the colors are very unusual!). Most nurseries would have a clothes rack to dry socks and mittens, scarves maybe, after the children had been outside. They were dried, then the clothes rack was folded and put away. My mom kept one like this in the laundry room to dry our things when I was little (the laundry room was the warmest room being right next to the furnace). The quiet old lady was most likely the nursery nurse, paid to take care of the small children of the family. And the mouse. Our school has mice (as many schools do) and I’ve seen mice sitting in the middle of my classroom (not when the children are there, of course!). Although in the presence of the cats, it would be unusual.

  43. shall we mention that there’s an old lady in the room, ALL THE TIME, who apparently is not a relative nor a nanny? I mean, what, is she a squatter? “Hush… (don’t tell your parents). I’ll just stare st you while you sleep” – how comforting.

    Finally, how is the moon in the very lowest corner of the window? The only possible explanation is that the room is on a space station in orbit around earth. That also starts to make some sense of the “cow jumping over the moon” part…

    1. Are you friggin kidding me!?!?!? The moon is the most brilliant part of the book! The moon rises and sets each day (just like the sun and stars). The moon in the book rises at the proper rate as shown by the progress on the clock on the mantle.

  44. Elizabeth Avatar
    Elizabeth

    Excellent! Note that the existential mouse is on every page. You can follow his path.

  45. This is really funny stuff. I studied these images closely a few years back when I wrote and drew my “Goodnight Goon” parody. What always makes me laugh, and I point this out to students when I visit schools, is that while I had to change many things in the room to make a “monster” version of the book, I didn’t change the tiger skin rug.

    1. where can i find good goon?

    2. Just found Goodnight Goon on Amazon.com. Will have to order a copy! My 4 yr old daughter is obsessed with monsters and all things spooky.

  46. Kimberly McDonald Avatar
    Kimberly McDonald

    Greatly enjoyed your observations. I read this book often that’s why the Facebook post caught my attention. I will now have more commentary to add to the story.

  47. Older books were limited to four colors in illustrations, as each one had to be applied individually.

  48. Thanks for the laffs!

  49. we’re totally “somewhere out there, beneath the pale moon light” rodent sisters! and i’m seriously on the other side of the globe. thanks for the entertainment break from work.

  50. I think the most disturbing item in this entire room is none of the above. It is the tiger skin on the floor. Why would a bunch of bunnies have a tiger skin? How do they get it? Is it a trophy of some kind? Why a tiger? I would think that is scary for any child, not to mention, in conflict with the endangered species act…

    1. Also notice that the tiger skin is only slightly bigger than the quiet old lady whispering hush, which means that theyre either a rare horrifyingly giant breed of rabbit, or a rare pygmy breed of tiger. but considering that the tiger stripes are clearly defined, and they massively dwarf the two cats, it which would indicate the former.

  51. Thank you for the laughs. I read (or in later years recited, as I knew it by heart) nightly for almost 8 years. BTW my sister and her kids recently painted several rooms of their house red, green and yellow. They say it’s McDonals colors, but all I can think is “In the great green room…”

  52. Nicole Matero Avatar
    Nicole Matero

    …and why would rabbits have pictures on their walls of one of their predators (bears)?

    1. Bears…? These bunnies have a TIGER SKIN on their floor. These are no ordinary rabbits — they’re bad-ass bunnies living it up in a mansion. The bears are terrified of THEM. (That’s always been one of my issues with Goodnight Moon, fabulous book though it is.)

  53. Ian Girdley Avatar
    Ian Girdley

    And every baby bunny needs a tiger skin rug.

  54. Anne Brock Avatar
    Anne Brock

    Not only did we read this book to our son, but we also had a poster of this exact page framed for his room – -thinking he would love it. Just before putting him to bed, I would hold him and walk around his room saying goodnight to everything on his walls. When he came to the Goodnight Moon poster, he would tighten up and look away. When he was older we asked him why he did that. His response was “There wasn’t a way out of the room. And that lady in the rocker was scary.” What a discerning observation at such a young age! So – you see – not everybody loved Goodnight Moon. But I am saving the framed poster just in case he has children and wants it in their room. He’s now 32.

  55. Patpen Poly Avatar
    Patpen Poly

    FYI, the little mouse is on every page – we used to LOVE trying to find the mouse on each page. And the picture on the wall is of the Three Little Bears. Loved this article, though!

  56. I LOVED this! Thank you! And for the record, one of our children’s rooms really did have a Britannica on a shelf!

  57. How about the “Goodnight nobody,” blank page? I don’t get it! Drives me nuts.

    1. bluesabriel Avatar
      bluesabriel

      Ha! The whole book annoys my husband on some level, but he REALLY doesn’t like the blank page. It racks me up every time.

    2. My husband – knowing what a scaredy cat I am – very kindly pointed out that the page is for all the ghosts.

  58. Sarah Glaze Avatar
    Sarah Glaze

    This was the funniest thing I have read in a long time. This damn book has been recited most nights at my house to three children. I love the interior designer dialogue and have now wasted (not really wasted) my work day reading your blog. Awesome!

  59. very amusing. We do have to remember that the book was published in 1947. In my bedroom in 1949 there was a set of Childcraft, a set of wonderful hardbound books of stories called My Bookhouse and so on. And I must point out that that is exactly what a telephone looked like in 1947 It does make me think of Downton Abbey and the nannies in the nursery there

  60. Most of these complaints disappear when you consider that grandma bunny inherited a house from a legally-blind distant relative, and the baby bunny is spending the night in a strange (to him, and to innocent passers-by) bedroom. Also, the mouse is a wind-up toy.

    1. Annie Mac Avatar
      Annie Mac

      Best. Comment. Ever.

  61. Jeff Sternstein Avatar
    Jeff Sternstein

    Hilarious and true. To the comment that there was no way out of the room, there was. The window. Thus the title of the book. Should he wish to escape these would be the little bunny’s final words.

  62. suresh sampath Avatar
    suresh sampath

    I always took issue with the “quiet old lady who was whispering hush.” If she wants to remain quiet so be it, but why impose her worldview on others. If the kid wants to make a little bit of sound, let him for god’s sake.

  63. Sue Tunney Avatar
    Sue Tunney

    Two reflections on your comments:

    #2. Dollhouse – my father built us a dollhouse in the 1950s and electrified it. Not uncommon.

    #4. Clothesline – that is not a clothesline, it is a wooden collapsible drying rack. I have two of them and dry things on it that I don’t want to put in a hot dryer (like hand-knit socks). It folds flat and goes into the closet. Besides, this is not a child’s room but what was called the nursery. Not uncommon to have something like a drying rack for wet mittens as you would hardly find that in the parlor.

    1. WAY too serious dude

    2. No fun allowed ever

    3. Fear not, Sue! Mulder and Scully are actively searching for the aliens who abducted your sense of humor!

  64. Cynthia west Avatar
    Cynthia west

    Too funny!!

  65. I literally laughed until I cried. Genius. I also think the Goodnight Nobody page is total BS. I can’t explain that to my kids – I just speed by that part, but eventually they’re going to ask!

  66. I can’t believe people don’t like the blank page. Have you actually read the book to a child? It makes them laugh.

  67. Crispybeard Avatar
    Crispybeard

    Thanks for the explanation Eva.on Bradfords.comment. The whole book is off, but especially the fishing cannibal bunny. My partner and I read this book many times to all our children and that painting jn the room got me wvtery time.

  68. Check out the string on the balloon – it changes length throughout the book. Made me nuts.

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      now I’ll have to keep an eye out for this too…

  69. Are we not talking about the painting of the Rabbit standing in the middle of the stream “fishing” for the little bunny using a carrot to bait him? Why is he trying to catch the little Bunny? Why is the bunny in the stream in the first place? Why is this a picture hanging on the wall of a little bunny’s room? So many questions!!

  70. Michael S Avatar
    Michael S

    There’s also a picture on the wall of a bunny fishing, and the fish also has bunny ears. On the left-most wall.

  71. Made me laugh so much. Love your style.

  72. Kelly Mama28kiddos Avatar
    Kelly Mama28kiddos

    Thanks for the laugh!! We have 8 children, and are at our halfway point, 4 in and 4 out, with our youngest at 10yrs. We now have #2 grandbaby on the way. I have read and memorized this book more times than I can think I remember. I have pondered the many points you too have pondered. Heading into a shoulder surgery and really needed to take my mind off the important and remember the super important~~spending time with my children when they are young , for they grow so fast. If time would just stand still for a moment while I snuggle once more with that wiggly two yr old, watch the beaming eyes of a three yr. old, and the wise look of the four yr old as he “reads” the story out loud. Appreciate your humor! Thanks you for sharing 🙂

  73. I’m mid-60s. I had Encyclopedia Brittanica on the bottom shelf in the bookcase in my room as a child. But wasn’t copying “Goodnight Moon, ” as I never heard of the book until my grandkids came along. (Thanks for this post. I’ll now be looking at all books with a more discerning eye.)

  74. The cool thing is the framed picture with a scene from her other book, The Runaway Bunny – who was clearly running away from that tigerskin rug.

  75. In get that housing is small in the “city”, but for those of us out in the rest of the world, that room’s not so big… My bedroom.right now is 25′ x 15’…. And my teen son’s room is 15’x15′ and it’s likely the smallest bedroom.he’s ever had.

    Housing is bigger in the ‘burbs. 😉

  76. before I had children I worked in early childhood research and had to read this book to every child I evaluated (hundreds) as part of the study protocol–but the Spanish version.

    “En la gran habitación verde hay un teléfono, un globo rojo y una cuadro de una vaquita que salta sobre la luna, y otro más, con tres ositos sentaditos en sus sillitas. Dos gatitos juguetones, dos calcetines y dos mitones. Y una casa de muñecas y un ratón que corretea….”
    I’ll bet I could remember the rest if I tried!

  77. Plus, no knitter would ever allow not just one but TWO cats to play with her yarn.

  78. why do people have to pick on a children’s book that is intended for children? if the book were bad would you have read to your child every night for 2 years? come on it’s the art of imagination that brings a book to life. So what if the room looks big it’s a book and who cares if the brush and bowl of mush are on the same table. And I have seen some very elaborate doll houses some that have running water and electricity. As for the fireplace gee ever thought that was the only source of heat in the room…..even the Downtown Abby has fireplaces in the rooms…..until the late 30’s lots of people had fireplaces in every room for heat….

  79. Hilarious!!!! We recite this book every night and have as our bedtime routine for about 4 years. I find the book and illustrations bizarre but EVERYONE seemed to read it and I was a sleep deprived mother of twins, so nothing was clear back then. Now, my husband & I sometimes change the words or sing it to familiar tunes to break up the boredom. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who finds it odd but reads it anyway!!!!

  80. lol! Funny! The good night nobody page kinda irks me too! The interior design comments are hysterical! I never really paid attention to it. It’s also one of my daughters favorite books for bedtime. But as far as the fireplace goes…this book was written in the 40’s…where people still were using fireplaces as a source of heat.
    And we had one of those drying racks for our mittens at my grandmothers house when I was a child. Other than that..,funny.

  81. Gretchen Savage Avatar
    Gretchen Savage

    i live in an old house where the bedrooms are huge like this. The only thing I see as a problem is the bed is so small, it’s for a rabbit, so it makes the room look bigger. Fires in the fireplace was not unusual, doll houses were often even bigger, and he had just finished his bowl of pudding and the maid hadn’t removed it yet.
    I love the green and orange. Looks like a fruit bowl.

  82. Edgar Mice Burroughs Avatar
    Edgar Mice Burroughs

    Not as weird as “In the Night Kitchen” or most Dr. Suess. Cut some slack, “…Technologically-out-of-date telephone.” The author was born in 1910. That was a modern phone when she was a child.

  83. And you didn’t even get to the picture of the fisherman rabbit who using a carrot for bait to fish a smaller rabbit out of the stream.

  84. You forgot about the copy of Goodnight Moon on the bedside table next to the phone, meaning there’s an endless loop of book inside of book inside of book inside of book that goes on for eternity.

  85. Lara Sweeney Avatar
    Lara Sweeney

    The bears in therapy absolutely killed me. I’ll never look at the book the same again.

  86. Hilarious. I’m trying not to laugh very loudly at my desk at work. 🙂

  87. My most favorite part of this all are the comments attempting to explain and defend the different elements of the picture/story to you. #10 is my favorite. Although you should know that this book was written many years ago and this particular telephone was historically accurate, so your questioning of it is wrong. 😉

  88. How can you ignore the adorable picture hanging over the bookshelf of a bunny fly-fishing for a baby bunny with a carrot? Clearly a portrait of Bunny Cannibalism! Also, as my (now 19 year old) daughter pointed out after umpteen readings of this book, both the fly-fishing and cow jumping over the moon pictures are from Runaway Bunny! As for the fireplace, telephone, giant law books, etc — I always figured maybe this was the parent’s room. Great stuff — thanks for the laugh!

  89. My son (1.5) loves this book…I wonder if its because of the crazy color scheme!???

  90. I see it as a one room house fit for bunnies, not a child’s room but this aas a funny read

  91. Do NOT get the app! My little guy loves them both.

  92. Jenny W. Avatar
    Jenny W.

    What about the RED BALLOON!! There’s a red balloon just bouncing around the ceiling? The cats would freak-out about it….maybe the mouse let it loose? That changes everything!

    1. Michelle Lee-Reid Avatar
      Michelle Lee-Reid

      Jenny–hilarious! 🙂

  93. THANK YOU FOR MAKING MY DAY BETTER!!
    I hate that stupid book!

  94. Such a classically loved book, and this was hilarious.

  95. Thanks for posting this, it’s great! I always think the woman sitting in the corner knitting and saying “hush” was a little spooky. Especially because she’s not there on the first page! But that’s my daughter’s favorite character, because she likes to say “hush”.

    And also,,, what’s up with the “Goodnight nobody” page? Could they not think of something else to say goodnight to?

  96. Patience Mason Avatar
    Patience Mason

    Absolutely funny and fun. Thanks a lot. I need to do this with Millions of Cats…

  97. Did you do the parody book to this one “Go the F**k To Sleep” after you were done ripping apart the rabbits bedroom here? Despite obviously being an adult book, it too has similar illustrations.

  98. Another thing about the phone that I noticed the other night: This book was written in the ’40s, when most people only had one phone in the house. WHY IS YOUR ONLY PHONE NEXT TO THE KID’S BED?

  99. How about the tiger skin rug. Inches away from the bed of a baby bunny rabbit. How did we overlook that scary little design faux pas?

  100. Did anyone also noticed that the book on the freakishly large nightstand is actually “Goodnight Moon”?!? And, the picture on the wall in the bear therapist’s office is the cow jumping over the moon?!?

  101. Gwendolyn Lukas Avatar
    Gwendolyn Lukas

    You forgot: the women who stares at the child whilst he sleeps, the page where it looks like he is trying to scale the wall, and the gay pride pink blanket on the bed.

  102. Oh my GOODNESS!!!!!!!!! Let me start by saying this was one of my favorite books as a child, and one of my favorite books to read to my child… But this CANNOT be any more true!!!! And quite funny!!!!! So many good observations I had never paid attention to!!

  103. Anne Richardson Avatar
    Anne Richardson

    I’ve always thought of the color scheme as early Matisse.

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      I’d much rather read a book about that Cezanne bedroom painting. At least the walls aren’t green.

  104. Loved this!!! I have similar issues with Max and Ruby!! How do u feel about them?

  105. OK; I think I can stop laughing long enough to type! As far as the phone goes, this book was written back in the Forties/Fifties (if not earlier, but the design of the phone says Forties to me). Phones only came in a couple of styles and only black, unless you wanted to spring the big bucks for a custom phone. Plus you had to pay a monthly fee for every phone in the house because the phone belonged to the phone company. Having the phone in the baby’s room was done in case there was an emergency with the baby if you didn’t have the phone in the hallway between the kid’s room and the master bedroom, in addition to a phone in the kitchen. However I know this is satire (and wicked good satire, I might add!).

  106. So Runaway Bunny must have come before Goodnight Moon. Because the picture on the wall (black and white fly fishing) is from RB. Then Goodnight Moon must be a sequel.

  107. Ann Tweedell Avatar
    Ann Tweedell

    I have never liked this book as a child or as a parent reading to my children, but I never knew why; apparently I could not get past the decor. I think that the words and sentiment are nice if you don’t look at the pictures. Thanks for clearing this up.

  108. Michelle Avatar
    Michelle

    This was hilarious. But as a counterpoint, maybe this is the entire bunny house, not just the child’s room. This would explain the huge size, the fireplace, the grown up books, and the phone.

  109. Love this book and loved reading it to my son when he was little (totally miss those days). Agree w Ann Richardson – early Matisse – perfect. And of course you can’t have all those colors when those things cost a lot of money back in the day — you choose your spot colors and you make do! : )

    Now hush! Just kidding – this was hilarious.

  110. My biggest issue was always the blank page which says “goodnight nobody” creepiest page ever!

  111. nycsongs Avatar
    nycsongs

    I used to enjoy every nightly reading of this book because my children also enjoyed it so much, but now that I’ve been enlightened as to how irritating the artwork is, I too will be irritated, and will never enjoy this book again.

  112. Well played. I love the feeling (which you just gave me) of laughing until in tears while reading alone. My biggest challenge has always been the back & forth from black/white illustrations next to full-colored pages. But the kiddos love it!

  113. Chris Smith Avatar
    Chris Smith

    Should have a go at “The Giving Tree”. Depressing book with a freakishly scary picture of the Author on the back facing the kids the whole time. It’s probably put a whole generation of Therapists into Summer homes…

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      Thank you– I have always thought that author photo was terrifying.

  114. Jannette Avatar
    Jannette

    I’m rather digging the brown rug. Really pulls it all together, don’t you think?

  115. I realize the author is trying to be funny, but if you want a more modern book, then choose something not written in 1947!! For it’s time, this was an awesome book. Even Dr. Seuss is limited compared to the wondrous selected of picture books available today. Despite it being so dated, Goodnight Moon does show a pioneer mind in the field of picture books. Margaret Wise Brown understood the language that would soothe a child to sleep and the cadence of words that would stand the test of time. It’s an endearing book.

  116. RonTamra Avatar
    RonTamra

    The mouse isn’t ignored! He’s even mentioned in the story! And, if you’ve truly got kids and live in a small place, then it’s not really such a stretch to picture a bowl full of mush, a comb, and a brush all on the same table! Jeez, by comparison to tables around my house, the one in the book is looking pretty orderly and clean!

  117. I will never look at this book the same way again.

  118. What really bugged me about this book was the massive, glaring continuity error where the socks kept popping in and out. Shouldn’t someone have caught that in post?

  119. I thought I was the only one that noticed this! I love the book but after reading so many times, it becomes more clear that it is out of touch with reality…and our 5 year old noticed also! Thanks for the laugh!

  120. Rosemary Booth Avatar
    Rosemary Booth

    I enjoyed reading this book to all 5 of my children and one of my Grandkids every night for years.
    At 84, I could read it again and enjoy every word, every color, every nuance, every animal.
    Hurray for Margaret Wise Brown, one of the Good People who made Life Better.

  121. James Moreland Avatar
    James Moreland

    I really don’t care about the ‘imperfections’ of the room. My children are now grown, but I read this book to all of them and thoroughly enjoyed every moment. Is it really necessary to deconstruct everything?

    1. Have you heard of something called “humor”? Check it out sometime, rent it, whatever – it’s awesome.

    2. James — it’s humor. If you’ve read the book incessantly, these are glaring things you CANNOT miss. i adore the book as well, but this “article” is pure humor. And it’s hysterical. Every word.

  122. Terri Herman Avatar
    Terri Herman

    Well don’t read it for goodness sakes if it gets on your nerves that bad! Personally, I. Love. It.
    It is, by far, one if the most comforting bedtime books EVER. The colors, dimensions, safety issues, etc. really don’t mean a thing to the child who is snuggled up with a loved one, knowing that they are loved.

  123. Jeremy Morse Avatar
    Jeremy Morse

    I’ve always been bothered by that rocking chair that offers no back support whatsoever, and looks like a trap to get you to tip over backwards.

  124. Danae McBurney Avatar
    Danae McBurney

    This is completely hilarious. I was laughing so hard tears ran down my face! Thing is, I haven’t even read Goodnight Moon, maybe ever, but your commentary on the pictures was still wonderful. I agree, what was the illustrator thinking???

  125. jbtechie Avatar
    jbtechie

    he thing that bothers me the most is the painting above the bookcase. It appears to be an adult rabbit fly fishing in a river, using a carrot as bait, and about to catch a baby rabbit/frog-rabbit. Is this some kind of sick, cannibal rabbit or a bizarre retelling of the stork story and where babies come from? So creepy.

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      It’s from The Runaway Bunny, another book they did together. I read that one to my son too but some of the pictures are a liiiiiittle weird.

  126. Almost as funny as your hilarious send up, are the comments in which people are seriously deconstructing the commentary! And as a couple’s therapist, I’ve worked with Bears, and you nailed it. Grizzly’s are very treatment resistant.

  127. Has anyone mentioned the fact that the room has no door?! I used to love reading this book before bed as a child, but when I noticed this important fact it gave me so much anxiety!

  128. Stephanie Danz Avatar
    Stephanie Danz

    I’ve always loved this book. Read it to my children and most recently to grandchildren. I have always wanted to live in that room, although I would like more socks and mittens. Perhaps a hat to go with them. The mouse just likes a good story. Reading your comments just made me like the room all the more!

  129. So freakin’ hysterical! Laughed so hard I cried.

  130. I seriously cried laughing read this. Thank you! I really needed that laugh today!!

  131. Someday I hope to write a children’s book that will become as popular and time-tested as this book. and when I do please do me a favor…just read it…don’t write about it. 😉

  132. Johninpa Avatar
    Johninpa

    Wow. Seems like someone has too much time on their hands. It’s a children’s book, published in 1947. It’s fanciful, not real and meant to entertain young children which it has done quite successfully for three generations, give or take. Take a breath, let it go and remember it’s just a kids book and not the most recent issue of “House Beautiful”.

  133. I have many issues with that kind of creepy book but strangely never focused on the physical – I just chalked it all up to a ’70’s LSD trip the author never returned from (I don’t know when it was written by I had it as a child so feasibly the 70s).

  134. I have many issues with that creepy book but strangely never focused on the physical – I just chalked it all up to a ’70’s LSD trip the author never returned from (I don’t know when it was written by I had it as a child so feasibly the 70s).

  135. I realize this is just for laughs, but I really love Goodnight Moon, so I want to make a case for the artwork. Clement Hurd, the illustrator, was a trained artist who studied architecture at Yale and painting in Paris, so I don’t believe he illustrated GM as some amateur idiot. I don’t believe we are meant to take the illustrations in a literal way (maybe using bunnies instead of people is meant to communicate that) but as a representation of the dreamy state of early childhood (as an example, have you ever been somewhere as an adult that you remembered seeing as a kid and you realize it was so much smaller than you’d thought at the time?). Margaret Wise Brown, Clement Hurd, and others of their generation of children’s authors and illustrators really understood this dreamy state, and they wrote primarily for kids, not for the adults (unlike so many children’s books of the last ten years which are often very self-conscious of the adult reading the book). As for the colors, it’s likely that for financial reasons they could only print a few colors – a lot of the books at the time were that way. So they made it bright, and eye catching by using complementary colors red and green, blue and orange/yellow, and memorable. And it makes an impression – everyone knows even from a distance that the green and orange-red book is GM, and isnt that especially great for pre-reading kids?

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      He is in no way an amateur idiot 🙂 All your points are excellent (and probably correct). I don’t dislike the book– this post is more indicative of “the things grownnups start to think about when they have read the same book 4,000 times. Children are riveted by reading the same book over and over again but our minds start to wander so this is where mine goes. But thank you for a well-thought out comment. Those are always appreciated. 🙂

      1. I just reread my comment and it sounds like a straight laced essay – sorry! I do think that wandering adults’ minds can come up with some very funny stuff re children’s books, I just have a soft spot for Brown and her books and I hated to see them joked about. But the Bears’ therapy session…I loved that. I’m going to laugh every time I see it now 🙂

  136. Chadwick Crawford Avatar
    Chadwick Crawford

    Clement Hurd’s style is so weird and unsettling. It seems strange that Brown handpicked him for this book.

  137. Valerie S Avatar
    Valerie S

    Absolutely LOVED this blog!!! You captured what so many (whether they will admit it or not) think about while reading over and over the same book.

  138. I opted for Beverly Cleary books, so not having read this book probably qualifies me for the “Bad Parent Club.” For a story about animals, the choice of a tiger-skin rug does seem ill-advised. As a child, I always coveted those tiny books that fit into a tiny box, thinking that any child who possessed a set to be very lucky indeed. Does the table lamp work with a clapper to turn on/off, so as to avoid getting out of bed? Why does Mother Bunny read from across the room and not sitting on the bed as most TV/Movie parents depicted?

  139. Very funny! This was a favorite of my daughters and mine…we used to play a game which involved pointing out where the mouse is hiding on each page, then we would read that page…I miss those days!

  140. I laughed a real lot at this blog, but seriously why do expletives of the’f’kind spoil these things every time ? I might be old fashioned but that is how I feel.
    Anyhow, I guess the illustrator did something right for the way so many kids are overly hooked on this book. You would think ii was the only one on their shelves.

    1. Agreed. It wqould have been great without the F*** words interlaced throughout.

  141. Having a vast appreciation for Irony, I enjoyed the humor behind this article. Sadly, some people seem to have taken it quite literally, their children have my sympathy. Unfortunately, due to some (implied) language, I will not be sharing this with my family members that have small children. Yes we are all adults, but we are also aware that there are many ways of expressing ourselves and making a point without using words that must be ast***sked out. Carry on!

  142. I’m so shocked by all the critical comments. People – it’s prose. It’s thoughts and giggles and tongue-in-cheek. Where did your sense of humor go?!

    1. i think you can still have a sense of humor AND an opinion about something, as in, that was funny, but I think the critiques behind the humor miss the point, and since literature matters, it’s worth discussing that (what is humorous prose if not also commentary?)

  143. Love this. I’m wondering what your thoughts are on the disappearing, reappearing red balloon? My son has an intense love/hate relationship with balloons and he freaks out every time we turn to a page without it. “Where’s the balloon mama? Where’d the balloon go?” He asks almost as if he’s waiting for it to suddenly appear in our room just to terrify him. I think he likes to see it safely on the pages of the book – at least then he knows where it is.

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      Does he hate when balloons lose half their helium and hover next to the bed shoulder-height like the dismembered heads of serial killers because oh my god, that used to scare the pants off me when I was little.

      1. ROFLOL

  144. Brilliant! Love the therapy scene. But it’s cracking me up that some people are seeing this as a serious critique of the illustrator or the book. Can you do Room on the Broom? that was my kid’s favorite..

    1. a critique is a critique, even when it’s humorous. No one’s taking cheap shots at the post, but the people who care about the literary work are expressing their disagreement with the actual critique underlying the well written humor, and that’s okay. What’s not cool is writing off others’ thoughtful responses as “not having a sense of humor” or being sorry for their children as another commenter said. That’s a cheap shot.

    2. Ugh, spoke too soon. Some people did take cheap shots. Sigh. For what it’s worth, even though I was bummed by some of the opinions, i died at the bear couple’s therapy session bit. That’s exactly what it looked like! I will never see that part without giggling now.

  145. Quite amusing read, but I can definitely tell that the author is a big-city dweller by their reaction to the room. Sure, that would cost a medium-sized fortune in New York City, but growing up (dirt poor I might add) waaay out in the country, my room as a child was nearly that big. We lived in an old ramshackle farmhouse, and as an only child, I had one of the two huge rooms upstairs to myself.
    And yes, I still feel *extremely* hemmed in when I spend a long time in a dense urban environment. Nice places to visit, horrible places to live…unless you’re filthy rich.

  146. This room is a little smaller than the bedroom in Peter Pan. Every time you see that bedroom people are flying in it!

  147. Absolutely hilarious. I thought I was the only one who hated the color scheme with a passion. And the part about the bears had me giggling helplessly. At work.

  148. THANK YOU as a teacher this is BRILLIANT well done

  149. I LOVED this post. Hilarious. I felt I had to post to offset some of the comments that took it way too seriously. And the whole post is obviously written for adults, so I don’t really see why the asterisked word is a problem. Presumably parents would read this before reading it to their kids.

    1. nycsongs Avatar
      nycsongs

      Just because we’re adults doesn’t mean we’re casual and OK with f-bombs. 🙂

  150. This is so clever and hilarious….I design kids’ rooms and I read this book countless times to my children.

  151. I think this is quite possibly the best thing I’ve ever read. My girls both wanted to read this book every. single. night. when they were babies and this puts it all into a new light. A sick, twisted and hilarious light.
    Amityville Kill Room.

    Literally, laughing my buns off.

  152. I loved this entry and took it exactly as intended. I, too, have read this many many many times and you put some of my thoughts right here in the blog. The stuff I hadn’t thought of, hilarious! Thanks for the laugh today.

  153. This is the best illustration critique I have ever read and I read it out loud to my adult sons and we all had a hearty chuckle over it. I have not read this particular picture book but now that I have read your review I am going to go find it. Thank you. 🙂

  154. jennifer Avatar
    jennifer

    Love this post. I was always bothered by the rabbit fishing with a carrot as bait for another rabbit in the picture. Creepy

  155. Catherine Warren Avatar
    Catherine Warren

    OMG! I nearly died laughing reading this! As a mother, teacher and writer of (yet to be published) picture books, the points you made were things I was thinking too and many things I had not noticed as well! Good call on these! Illustrations that are appealing to kids can be downright strange to the adult eye. And funny as you know what!

  156. This is too funny! My daughter passed this link along saying it made her smile (she’s 35…) As a mother of 4 children and 1 grand child, we’ve gone thru several copies of Goodnight moon. It’s kind of scary, but now 35 years later since my first was born, I can still recite the book verbatim. It’s a classic bedtime companion although I agree the illustrator could have used some guidance. No matter all of my kids loved it as is, and that’s what counts in the end isn’t it?

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      It is. And it’s crazy to think that possibly I’ll be able to quote the book years from now. At this point I sometimes find myself just reciting it to myself the way you get a song stuck in your head 🙂

  157. Louise Canter Avatar
    Louise Canter

    Loved the book! But then, anything made in 1947 was exceptionally good! Did I mention that I was born in 1947?? it can still put me to sleep!

  158. Wholly crap… you have too much time on your hands. I clicked on this on Facebook to see how ridiculous this was, and after the day I had as an inpatient nurse dealing with peoples lives, I feel sorry that this is what you do… sorry for the run on and improper punctuation, but in the scheme of things someone died today and you are nitpicking a book/illustrator .. I guess we all have a place

    1. libraryann Avatar
      libraryann

      I’m sorry you had a bad day and that the humor in this post couldn’t lighten your load a little.

    2. Um, “holy” crap, I guess we could sit around and be weighed down by the knowledge that people die all day, every day, everywhere, OR we could lighten life up by laughing at the silly little things in it. Guess we know which one you chose. Good luck with that, I hope you’re not this morose around your poor patients.

  159. THANK YOU! I had to read it twice because the first time I was LAUGHING SO HARD, I was CRYING! I needed that laugh! Oh, and though I have 4 kids, I have probably only read Goodnight Moon a few times in my life. I couldn’t stand the color scheme 😉

  160. What about Runaway Bunny? Makes Goodnight Moon seem like a PBS documentary.

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      I’m still recovering from reading Runaway Bunny.

  161. what about the picture of the bunny fly fishing for bunnies?? — cannibilism much?

  162. Oh. My. Goodness!!! Hahaha!!!! I often find myself wondering some of these very things while reading this book, though now I have many more inconsistencies to grab my attention. Lol! This is hilarious!!! I’m glad I’m not the only one who has these kinds of thoughts. You just have to wonder what the illustrator was thinking, and THEN what all the other people were thinking who agreed that it looked like your typical childs’ room. Holy moly. I love it!!!! Thanks for the laugh!!

  163. Kathleen M. Morris Avatar
    Kathleen M. Morris

    Hilarious! Thanks for brightening up a dull day. Remember that my daughter loved this book, but your points very well taken. You should perhaps turn your attention to classics such as Babar the Elephant and the Madeline series next.

    1. yikes! Babar – he marries his “little cousin” on a road trip. Creeper. 🙂

  164. Your life is so dull you’ve had time to put this much effort into picking apart the poorly drawn bedroom of some dumb kids book and typed it out for the rest of the world? Also what was with the crap about the brush being on the same table as food? It’s near it, not in it and last I checked hairs didn’t walk across the table to jump into food. Maybe the kid with the massive, ugly, room was finished with it.

  165. Love, love, love, love, love. This was so hilarious – it completely made my day. I read this book about a million times when my daughter was little – and it NEVER occurred to me how odd it was. I want to read everything you write – adore your sense of humor.

  166. WOW…Bitter Much???!!

  167. You’re ok with a rabbit dressed in a nightgown, sitting in a rocker knitting, but this stuff bothers you?

  168. Somehow, I didn’t ever notice (3 children, now in their 20s) the tiger skin rug! Gack.

    As for the drying rack, this professional organizer wasn’t gnashing her teeth because it’s not clutter, it’s not impinging on the available (massive amount of) space, and the “clients” aren’t bothered by it!

    Love your screed, I mean blog, on this resilient old book. Poor little bunny, living in such a scary room!

  169. Well, the bunny did have a red balloon. I know from experience that when a child has a balloon, they need no other toys.

    BTW, posting a link back to you from my blog!

  170. Casandra Avatar
    Casandra

    Hilarious and spot on! Though I’m surprised you did not point out the grey rug, that, relative to the bed and cats, and other furniture, is at least 20 feet in diameter. Where do you get a 20 foot rug?!

  171. Diane Striley Avatar
    Diane Striley

    Re: Heat

    All the creatures are wearing fur coats.

    See; The willing suspension of disbelief!

    I really enjoyed this rant–very clever.

  172. Love this – hilarious. After reading some of these books ten hundred times, you start to notice things like this. I’ll find myself reading along, while in my head I’m critiquing plot, character development, narrative arc…

  173. This is so great and so true – after you read some of these children’s books for the ten hundredth time these things start to get to you. I find myself reading to my kids while in the back of my mind I’m critiquing plot, character development, narrative arc…

  174. Hilarious. Loved your observations and humor!

  175. Ann Marie Tourtellotte Avatar
    Ann Marie Tourtellotte

    I found myself defending many comments. Like the room always seems huge to a small child. The colors have a feeling of warmth and comfort so to critique them is annoying. It was written for children not adults comfort. I honestly thought it was too critical of the book’s images. Sorry!

    1. Aaron Smallets Avatar
      Aaron Smallets

      I was going to write something slightly mean, and then I read your name and realized it’s not your fault.

  176. Awesome! I think we’ve all thought this.
    Shared on my public profile.

  177. Oh my gosh this is hilarious! I was reading this in class and had to stop because otherwise I was going to burst out laughing. Then I read the rest at home and was laughing so much that my sister actually told me to shut up. Then I read it to my mom and we were laughing so hard we started to cry. Thanks for this! I especially love the interior designers. And couples therapy.
    Emma

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      This comment totally made my night.

      1. I have to agree with Emma! This was hysterical. I was near tears!

  178. Actually, what’s always bugged me about the book is not the decor but the fact that they use the word Moon on two consecutive pages and the way its written doesn’t trip easily off my tongue. “Goodnight Moon . . . Goodnight Cow Jumping OVER the Moon.” But then again only someone whose read it thousands of times like me probably gets bugged by things like that.

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      That absolutely drives me up the wall but I wasn’t sure everyone would relate to it or if it was just me.

  179. Love your way of writing and expression. Perfect rant and fun and one I can so relate to. Thanks for this…:-)

  180. Soooo… you’re OK with the fact that rabbits are keeping cats as pets. Considering where they respectively fall on the food chain, I’ve always found that odd. But, whatever, as you’ve so aptly pointed out, the whole setting is pretty whackadoo.

  181. 1. Is it just me? I actually well up, choked up, each time I read this story. Bear in mind, I read it to both my daughters when they were little, then to my 2 (out of three, the baby is just 7 months old) grandkids…and I just can’t help it. Few things do this to me so unprompted. Do you think the colors of the bedroom are toying with my brain’s emotional responses? LOL…

    2. Have you noticed the Bowl of Mush is bigger than the little bunny’s head?

    Funny stuff, thanks. 🙂

  182. I was laughing so hard at the phone call to tell the woman to stop saying hush, I actually spit food out of my mouth. Hilarious!

  183. Have to add that the automatic cat profile pic that represents me on my first comment, kinda looks like I think I would look as a cat. Just sayin’.

  184. Lori Spatola Avatar
    Lori Spatola

    This is funny! I’m surprised you didn’t mention the alternating black & white pages

  185. Has anyone read one of Margret Wise Brown’s lesser known books, The Little Fur Family? It half rhymes, which aggrevates me and says thinks like “the dark and sunny woods”. WTH. How are the woods dark AND sunny? Why is this happening and why does my daughter want to read it 3, 000 times in a row.

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      I own the touch-and-feel version where the cover has fur on it. The little fur creatures are the weirdest things ever.

  186. Not to be mean but this is pointless to complain about a child’s book that you admit to enjoying reading to your children. Like many other children’s books, illustrations and other creative finds are part of that genre. What’s the big hang up? Criticize things that impart negativity and inhumane things..a child’s book is far from that..

  187. Very funny! We loved Goodnight Moon mostly because the mouse appears on every page and it was fun for the kids to try to pounce on it before the parent was done with the text on that page! (Now that we have teenagers, we still have a soft spot for mice, but neither of our girls has ever opted for a tomato-and-green bedroom, thankfully. . .)

  188. Meredith Avatar
    Meredith

    I laughed so hard I almost woke the baby up. That would have been horribly ironic.

  189. Terri Delebo Avatar
    Terri Delebo

    Oh my gosh, I rarely laugh out loud at stuff I think is funny…just a muffled chortle , usually…but this made me LAUGH OUT LOUD. Beautifully, snarkily done! Of course I read this book to my boys yeas ago, a bazillion times., but your piece highlighted a cartload of details I never noticed…and many I recall puzzling over, too, like WTF, creepy Lepidoptera in a rocking chair.

    I’m also reminded of our Goodnight Moon “fave tradish” (<–as the now-grown boys would say): When I read it to them, I always changed that one line to "A comb and a brush and a bowl full of mush, and a quiet old lady whispering….SHUUUUTTTTTTTTT UPPPPPPPPPPPP!" Screamed, of course. SCREAMED, I tell you. Two mangy little boys thought that was the funniest thing on Earth.

    Thanks for the memory-jogging, and the pitch perfect satire!

  190. Denise B Avatar
    Denise B

    Absolutely HYSTERICAL!! I have a 9 year old and haven’t read this in quite some time, but a mad rush of “oh my goodness” came rushing back to me as I read this! Thanks for the laughs!

  191. Jann Bell Avatar
    Jann Bell

    Yes, the whole thing, art and all is outlandish and awkward and that is what makes it a classic. Out of step, tentative, blaring. I loved this piece and will seek more of you out. Jann

  192. I love most of the color comments, but have to disagree on the mouse. I have two kids and our favorite part was finding the mouse on each page. He moves around as you would expect a mouse to and it is so much fun when they realize he is there all the time. The last one is very sweet.

  193. There is a copy of Goodnight Moon on the nightstand. WHAT.

    1. i know, that’s totally inception-ish. freaky.

  194. This post should have been called “Why Goodnight Moon is brilliant and hilarious.” Did you address the blank page that says, “Goodnight nobody”? It’s meant to be fun, it being a children’s book.

  195. Christine Johnson Avatar
    Christine Johnson

    Sounds like you’re trying to hard to be funny. Bit of overkill, eh?

  196. April Van Scherpe Avatar
    April Van Scherpe

    I found your blog when a friend shared this post on Facebook. Laughed so hard while reading it that I was literally crying. Thank you.

  197. Okay, I always thought the baby bunny was sleeping in the mom’s room for the night… which would explain almost all the decor… and also why the mom is comforting the child by describing the objects in the room that seem scary at night.

  198. Mary Mehrens Avatar
    Mary Mehrens

    Love this.
    Something my toddler points out every time: one of the kitten looks more like a squirrel. “There were 2 little kittens, and a pair of mittens – AND A SQUIRREL!!!”

  199. My kid pointed out to me some interesting continuity errors in the book, regarding the balloon. You are introduced to the balloon, and it’s all fine. Then, there comes a page where, based on the “camera angle,” you should see the balloon — but it’s not there! Then it’s there again after that. Spooky! We always said, maybe it floated up on a hot current from the fire, then down again … :]

  200. The mouse is hidden in different places in every page with the wholebig bedroom. It’s the fun game we played when each of our children had it read to them…where is he?

  201. This is “the worlds smallest most useless” article. More pointless than a sphere.

  202. The Runaway Bunny is on the bookshelf, too.

  203. I’ve always wondered why the picture of the bunny going fly fishing on the left side never gets mentioned in the book. Couldn’t that have filled in for the “Goodnight Nobody” page, which is clearly a total cop out?

    1. Christine Avatar
      Christine

      The bunny fishing is a prequel to the other famous board book, The Runaway Bunny, by the same author. I would love to see The Ugly Volvo’s take on THAT one where overbearing parent masquerades as a loving, devoted parent.

  204. u r funny… I especially loved the bear scene

  205. Jean Wills Avatar
    Jean Wills

    This IS funny.

  206. Read my mind about the gigantic room and the colors… This piece is hilarious and those who comment negatively need to look up the word ‘satire’ on Google or that Encyclopedia Britannica on the bookshelf. Keep it up – I appreciate you and your work!

  207. It’s a children’s book. WHO CARES. You are looking way too far into it, for real. I’m sure your kid hasn’t noticed any of the things mentioned here.

  208. Wesley Gallagher Avatar
    Wesley Gallagher

    How could you not mention the kittens?? In a rabbit’s bedroom? Those rabbits should be dead.

  209. you failed to point out the strange picture over the bookcase with one rabbit fishing for a baby rabbit with a carrot. The big rabbit is dressed for fly fishing, in a steam. So weird. Love the post.

    1. This is actually an illustration from The Runaway Bunny, which is a “companion” book to Goodnight Moon. Same author, same illustrator. Sweet story, and cool that the picture is in this book. 🙂

    2. That picture is actually a reference to another book by Margaret Wise Brown, *The Runaway Bunny.* Seems strange, but it’s actually a clever nod, as is the copy of *Goodnight Moon* on the bedside table.

    3. Nathalie Avatar
      Nathalie

      The fishing bunny picture is from another book by the same author, ‘The Runaway Bunny.’ 🙂

    4. Nathalie Avatar
      Nathalie

      Ha, jinx!

  210. Jennifer Avatar
    Jennifer

    How about there is a copy of Goodnight Moon on the nightstand. And the mom bunny is also reading it?

  211. Wow…you must be a real buzz kill with movies…i mean, come on, its a childrens book with rabbits living in a house. Seriousky spent that much time looking for and pointing out all the negatives? Theres a reason its a best seller. KIDS (you know, the ones the book was intended for!) love it and arent cynical of every detail. I think you wanted that to be a lot funnier than it was. Tried way too hard on that one.

  212. This is the funniest thing I have read in a while! Amazing!

  213. This is clearly Bunny Wayne . Think about it, the two urns on the matel, the enormous bedroom, the non-familia care giver.

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      *mind blown*

  214. Come to think of it, aren’t the bears in therapy because of the Goldilocks burglary? I mean, some human goes into your house, eats your food, sleeps on your bed, etc, etc… QUITE a shock to one’s system. Heh.

  215. The details may seem odd to an adult, but the book was written for young children, who don’t care about a fisherman’s outfit. To them, rooms, books and even “little toy houses,” seem enormous. As for the interior decorating, have you ever seen a young child who has dressed himself? Matching colors and patterns is completely optional. The important thing here is not the room or its contents, but the moon.

  216. The painting of the rabbit fishing is a reference to another one of the author’s very popular books (written before this one), called The Runaway Bunny.

  217. Anjalika Nigam Avatar
    Anjalika Nigam

    I’ve always assumed the room was actually the whole house. Like a studio apartment except kitchen and bathroom. But your interpretation is hilarious!

    1. Nathalie Avatar
      Nathalie

      That’s what I always thought too! But yeah, this is hilarious. And seriously awful colors!

  218. mary douglass Avatar
    mary douglass

    My daughter was always disturbed by the red balloon. It is in the pages in the beginning of the book, disappears in the middle, and then reappears at the end. At eighteen months old, it made her nuts. She would ask about it each time we read the book.

  219. Cyndi Barron-Harris Avatar
    Cyndi Barron-Harris

    Hilarious! I’ve thought many of those things myself over the years.

  220. “Goodnight Moon” is a child’s introduction to existentialism.

    Existentialism (/ɛɡzɪˈstɛnʃəlɪzəm/)[1] is a term applied to the work of certain late 19th- and 20th-century philosophers who, despite profound doctrinal differences,[2][3][4] shared the belief that philosophical thinking begins with the human subject—not merely the thinking subject, but the acting, feeling, living human individual.[5] In existentialism, the individual’s starting point is characterized by what has been called “the existential attitude”, or a sense of disorientation and confusion in the face of an apparently meaningless or absurd world.[6] Many existentialists have also regarded traditional systematic or academic philosophies, in both style and content, as too abstract and remote from concrete human experience.[7][8]

  221. I did not enjoy this piece. I will not like The Ugly Volvo on Facebook or follow you on Twitter. Or follow the blog by signing up for email updates. I did not enjoy your writing, I will not read your essay which you would describe as “not too terrible” in the book I Just Want to Be Alone. I do not want to spend 11 bucks and get it, even if the link also supports your lovely local bookstore. I will not like your Facebook page. I will have wonderful and productive day. You’re welcome.

  222. Did you know the mouse is on every big colored pictured in the book. Always in a different place. My son would find him every time we read the book.

  223. Anyone who thinks this is useless or ‘its a children’s book so who cares?’ is completely missing the point. I thought it was hilarious!

    1. It reminds me a bit of a comedian who gets laughs at the expense of a random audience member who he decides to heckle. The essay makes fun of the work of an artist who drew for children 70 years ago (pre-TV)) by judging illustrations by today’s adult viewpoint.

  224. Did we discuss the tiger skin rug?

  225. I refuse to read this book to my nieces and nephews, and because I’m not a parent I can get away with that. I remember as a child hating this book because the colors made my eyes hurt. This post is hilarious, especially the the three bears.

  226. This just made my day! I am sitting in the parking lot of my children’s school with tears rolling down my face from roaring with laughter…. Thanks!

  227. I haven’t laughed so hard in at least a week. Thank you for the comic relief!

  228. When I was younger, I had a recurring nightmare about an old lady in my room who I think was left to babysit me. She was horrible and this nightmare really disturbed me. I never put it together until I read this book to my own own son. that damn old lady was from this book. This book now terrifies me lol, and we don’t read it. 🙂

  229. KP Cantu Avatar
    KP Cantu

    I’d like to point out that the balloon is missing toward the end of the book and then reappears. My 2 year old noticed this and says. “Uh oh, balloon” every time we read this. Probably signs of future OCD. Why doesn’t the old lady have a name? Why is she in the room? Creepy. I never noticed the bunny picture on the left. My son and I read it in Spanish and it says ‘habitacion’ for room and I would have preferred ‘recamara.’ More thoughts I just needed to get off my chest because we read this every. night.

  230. Absolutelty hilarious and brilliant read.

  231. Kathleen Avatar
    Kathleen

    I’m an inverate reader and critic. Actually learned to read on the toilet as a kid. Only peaceful place in the house. Read everything . Ingredients in Vaseline and shaving cream to stave boredom. This critique of a kid bedroom is great. Seems like something that you started while bored. It then set sail in your head and kept growing. Fun!

  232. Lori Smith Avatar
    Lori Smith

    I seriously hope this is a joke. It’s Goodnight Moon for God’s sake….a children’s book…get a grip.

    1. bygrinstow Avatar
      bygrinstow

      I hope *this* is a joke. Seriously, reading children’s books over and over is a good thing — for the children. Sometimes as the parent you can feel like reading *that book* One. More. Time. is perhaps the camel that broke the straw’s back, and you’ll go mad.

      Mad, I say.

      Levity is the soul of it. Now if someone could explain to me what “it” is…

    2. I must admit to being alarmed that you couldn’t see the humor in this.

    3. It is indeed a joke! This is, in fact, a website full of jokes. 😉

  233. Good stuff. Classic it may be, but it’s still a seriously creepy book. We’ve read it more times than I can count, and my son would always point out the weird painting on wall with the fly-fishing rabbit. Is he catching a rabbit-fish? Who knows, but it gives me the willies.

    1. That picture on the wall is a scene from “The Runaway Bunny” by the same author! I love the fact that they got cheeky with the art that way.

      1. The rabbit fishing is a reference to the author’s other book “Run Away Bunny”.

  234. This was pretty funny. I read this book as a child growing up and never thought twice. But for the mouse part, while not trying to be ‘that person’ in every picture through out the book there is a mouse hiding somewhere. That was always my favorite part reading it, trying to find the mouse in the scene it’s like I spy.

  235. This made my morning but I must say you missed the “Goodnight Nobody” page. It creeps me out. Why would you say good night to nobody! I will never get it!

    1. I think that too! How did the author get away with just writing “goodnight nobody” with a blank page. It’s like they were 90% done with the book, couldn’t think of anything else but wanted to finish it, so they just wrote “goodnight nobody”. As a children’s book author, you couldn’t have been any more creative? And yes, who says “goodnight nobody”, I agree it’s kind of creepy.

  236. What bothers me the most is how the mouse wanders throughout the room during the story, winding up ON THE TABLE with the mush at one point! No way is anyone eating that oatmeal!

  237. Brittany Avatar
    Brittany

    To me, the creepiest part of this book is the line, “And goodnight to the old lady whispering hush.”

    Does the child/bunny not KNOW who this woman is? She’s not a grandmother or mother because that would read “goodnight to grandmother whispering hush.” Even a nanny would be something other than ‘the old lady.’ Right? Is she like a random knitting stranger? A ghost? Seems rather sinister to me.

  238. You need to get out of NY.

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      Dude, you’re telling me…

  239. This is totally hilarious, but I’m struggling to believe the author actually has children if she is “now trying to picture a situation in which I would place my unwashed hairbrush next to a bowl of cream of wheat.” I used to think that way, too, until I’d had kids for about a week. Now I’m lucky if I don’t catch myself spooning up the cream of wheat with the hairbrush and not really caring.

  240. My kids loves this book, but it is a bit odd. BTW, the mouse appears on every page. It moves around the room, even nibbling at that yummy cream of hairy wheat. (Look at the photo with item 12.)

  241. How about that picture of a rabbit fishing and catching a rabbit.

    1. The rabbit fishing for the rabbit fish is actually taken from another Margaret Wise Brown/Clement Hurd book, The Runaway Bunny.

  242. I’m surprised there wasn’t something written about how the socks are hung on one page, but not on another. My son loves saying goodnight to the fire. It bugs him that they don’t say goodnight to it in the book.

  243. This was hilarious! I read GM to my daughter every night…and I’ll never look at it the same again! The animal skin rug always got me! And – how did I never think twice about that fireplace?!

  244. Well, it’s the bunnies’ whole house I think, not one room or a nursery.

  245. I personally think that the little vermin was brought into the room by the child to eat it’s bowl of hair encrusted mush! Thanks for the chuckle!! Could it be that the bears in therapy are the interior decorators?!

  246. It’s a fantasy children’s story not to-scale architectural drawings, or a safety video. Do you have a problem with the bunny knitting too? Or the small bunny sleeping in a person bed? This is not realistic! For shame!
    I also must admit that I have left my hairbrush it the kitchen on more than one occasion and I have stirred my cup-o-soup with the non-bristled end of my tooth brush on camping trips. Gag on that.

  247. Kathryn Soper Avatar
    Kathryn Soper

    p.s. The existential mouse is in a different spot on every page.

  248. Stefanie Avatar
    Stefanie

    As a former daycare teacher I’ve read this a lot. For some reason I always had the impression it was not his room. Maybe he was visiting an elderly relative who dragged a few things from the attic. Too much time to think I guess.

  249. i’ve always assumed this was one of those one-room houses. you know, like back in the olden days.
    my only complaint is the big red balloon, which disappears and re-appears with no reason. my kid is obsessed with balloons and this thing causes a crisis EVERY NIGHT.

  250. I’m missing something. The room isn’t THAT big.

  251. Joan Brown Avatar
    Joan Brown

    Your writing reminds me of Erma Bombeck. I’ve read every book she’s ever written. Your posts are hilarious, keep it up!

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      Thanks, I’ve always thought she was hilarious. Although I used to read her when I was a teenager which is, looking back on it, sort of weird I guess?

  252. I’m surprised you didn’t say anything about the fact that he has a copy of Goodnight Moon next to his out-dated office phone, despite existing in Goodnight Moon. Clearly they reside in a land of madness and discord.

  253. Loved this. Yes, I read this many times to my three girls. You are totally right in every observation. Let me add, though, that I would give ANYTHING to be reading this again to the girls when they were little. The youngest is in her senior year of high school. Oh, how I wish I could do this again. Enjoy this time thoroughly with your little one now.

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      As much as I sometimes wish I didn’t have to read the same things over and over (AND OVER) again, I know how fast this time goes (and can already not believe how fast it’s gone) and am enjoying every minute. Getting to watch a kid this age grow up has been a wonderful and totally mindblowing experience. 🙂

  254. I found your story via the Fug Girls. What a delightful post. I giggled out loud several times. Thanks for this. 🙂

  255. Really???? Think more about your son and his love of reading! I think you’re a little OCD—no, a lot! Read more yourself and you won’t be consumed by stupid thoughts! I’m actually embarrassed for you!

  256. Wilma Veldman Avatar
    Wilma Veldman

    All of my five children loved the book. Some of your complaints are really irrelevant to a child. Some I laughed with. As far as the size of the room and use of space, well, my childhood bedroom in our large farmhouse could easily fit all of the items in the child’s bedroom and we did not worry about lack of space for our few belongings. We had four of us girls in it. We had very few toys, and we certainly did not keep them in our bedroom cause that was not convenient for play! As far as the bowl full of mush and the comb and brush; I can see that easily happening in a child’s room. Uneaten and unwanted food will stay there until a parent removes it, and according to the child, who cares about hair in it. They don’t want to eat it anyways!

  257. nathan helgren Avatar
    nathan helgren

    it’s also weird the bunny has a copy of the book on his nightstand, which if he was reading it, would have him, in bed, with a copy of the book on his nightstand.

  258. Wasn’t this book banned by the Daughters of The American Revolution?

  259. polarbear4 Avatar
    polarbear4

    seriously funny.

  260. It drives me nuts that they say good night to the clocks. Saying good night is the first mention of it. I had to look in two books to make sure the first one didn’t skip a page. They introduce the other stuff and THEN say good night. My kids still love it. Funny article.

    Alison
    Theguiltymommy.com

  261. I always thought of it as a one room house, kinda log cabin-ish, rather than one giant kid’s bedroom. It’s less disturbing that way.

    1. Sharon Lynn Avatar
      Sharon Lynn

      I agree with Annalisa. Having lived in a 500 sq. ft. studio apartment in NYC for 6 years, I’ve always thought of it as their on!y room besides the (tiny) kitchen and bathroom. I imagined that the grandmother would eventually have to crawl into bed with her sleeping grandbunny, because it’s their only bed (she gets the side with the telephone, which will shrilly ring late at night with a “wrong number” and wake up the kid).

      That being said, this is a wonderful and hilarious analysis! All 3 of my kids loved this book as toddlers and had my husband or me reading it repeatedly. I still know all the words by heart (and my kids are 10, 14, and 17, so it’s been awhile!).

  262. I actually read this (to adults) at the end of a bedtime-themed baby sign language class. I always read “and goodnight to the creepy old lady whispering “Hush.” before delving into a rant about who that lady is anyway–a wet nurse? Certainly not grandma, or they would’ve called her Grandma.
    …and is she just going to leave that bowl of mush sitting out all night? Does she have any idea how many bacteria will have multiplied in that bowl, come morning? Perhaps she should put her crochet down for just a minute to walk that Petri dish to the sink!
    And why are we saying goodnight to things not introduced in the first half of the book? Where is the continuity?!?

    (Clearly I was not raised on this book, so I guess I was a little more over analytical than I would’ve been if it was a childhood favorite.)

  263. Love your post! I too read Goodnight Moon (and My World – don’t even get me started on that one…) every night for about a year. Classic and disturbing stuff! 🙂

  264. The tiger skin rug on the floor? Why would a child’s room have an animal skin rug. – especially a rabbit child. But it does go with the mustard chair.

  265. What about the picture of the cow jumping over the moon that is in the picture of the three bears on chairs?

  266. It’s the rhythm of the story. It is a sweet book. Too much time on your hands.

  267. Who the hell spends this much time analyzing a children’s book? A children’s book for God’s sake. If you spent half the effort critiquing something worthwhile, or maybe sat your arrogant butt down and tried to write and illustrate an entire children’s book, maybe you would realize that you don’t, in fact, know everything about everything. Why don’t you stick to using your obviously very incompetent brain for something much smaller and more to your scale instead of attacking works of art that were created by someone with more talent, artistry, and skill in their pinky finger than you could ever fathom in your life.

    1. You obviously woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Maybe someone should have read this book to you last night so you could have gotten a better night’s rest and not be so foul, nasty, and disrespectful.

    2. Did YOU write this book yourself? IT IS an obnoxious book and I have always disliked it from the first time I read it.

    3. Katie Bolinger Avatar
      Katie Bolinger

      I love your commentary. So funny. I’m betting in 1947, when this book was published, they didn’t sink a lot of money/technology into a kids book so the colors are flat and odd to say the least. What I never noticed until you blew the picture up is that next to the phone is a copy of Goodnight Moon. Thanks for the laugh.

    4. jaomomof3 Avatar
      jaomomof3

      Lighten up, Allison! It’s HUMOR, for heaven’s sake!

  268. This is too funny! I’m glad I’m not the only one who wondered about all this. Sharing!

  269. For gosh sake! It isn’t meant to be taken literally, it’s a fantasy, it’s a children’s book. I hope this is satire if it isn’t you are too bound up in the modern culture of thought.

    1. jaomomof3 Avatar
      jaomomof3

      OMG, are there really people who can’t see that this is meant to be FUNNY! I couldn’t stop laughing!

  270. I’m enraptured! This is beautifully conceived & realized & so much fun!!

  271. ^^^ Some harsh comments. People can be so cruel. I thought your observations were funny. I know how it goes, my one year old LOVES to be read to. “Book” was one of her first words. There are a few books I know word for word without even having to look at the words.

  272. Very funny. I’m sorry you have to read all of the comments from humorless people who don’t understand that you can truly love reading classic books like this to your child and still observe silly details through your own adult eyes. I hope you ignore all of the ‘naysayers.’

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      It’s totally ok, lovely comments like this totally make up for it.

  273. John Smutko Avatar
    John Smutko

    Brilliant analysis, but you glossed right over the disturbing picture of a rabbit in hip waders fishing for a baby rabbit with a carrot.

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      That picture is crazy, I know. It’s from The Runaway Bunny by the same author illustrator combo (Which, if you look for it, is also on the bookshelf!)

  274. Ryan McCumber Avatar
    Ryan McCumber

    What’s with the creepy picture of the bunny fishing for bunnies? That bunny is either a cannibal or a pedo-bunny!

  275. this is brilliant. My only issue with it is that i didn’t come up with it myself. You should hear my issues on Mary Poppins and any other disney film.

  276. Ryan McCumber Avatar
    Ryan McCumber

    Oh and nothing screams “kid’s room” like an endangered tiger skin rug!

  277. I have wondered these things ever since I started reading this book. Also…who is the old lady and why does she only say hush? She is so far away from the kid, how does he even hear her?

  278. Speaking of that incredibly small drying rack…on one page it has two pairs of mittens, but on another page there is only one pair of gloves.

    Where did they go? Based on your observations, I’m guessing that mouse used them to stay warm in that giant room.

  279. I am glad that someone other than me dislikes this book! You would appreciate Boom Baby Moon – a satire of Good Night Moon

  280. Geez! I can not believe the rude comments! We all know this book is a classic….this post is supposed to be FUNNY! (Which it is!) The things some people will find offensive…..smh

  281. Cheryl Ramirez Avatar
    Cheryl Ramirez

    That was hilarious! I too read this book to my children many times and we always enjoyed it and hunting for the mouse. It was a great way to “settle” them for sleep. I never noticed the things you described. Thank you so much, I can’t stop laughing!

  282. Wow. That is a lot of hate for a children’s book . Yikes.
    Who cares? Why does it bother you so much about a 2 dimensional drawing with bright colors, and happiness?
    Have you ever read about the kid with the purple crayon? you would have a field day. This is what is wrong with this country. everyone has a complaint about nothing and has to spew the hate.
    Get over yourself.

  283. Are you kidding me you two people….this was funny stuff. This is lighthearted joking about a book that many of us have read to our children. This isn’t to be taken seriously, just to enjoy observations made by someone who has a sense of humor. Thank you as I enjoyed your sense of humor. I myself read this book to all of my children when they were much younger and now make it a point to buy this book with every new baby of family and friends.

  284. Yeah the drawings for this book suck. Mind boggling. Great story totally insane illustrations. Maybe I’ll do a re-make.

  285. Wow! The Goodnight Moon Fan Cult out in full force. It’s called “humor” people … “the quality of being amusing or comic, especially as expressed in literature or speech.” And, from the angry tone, the author’s of the last few comments could use more of it in their lives. Brilliantly funny stuff!

  286. Eva Wagner Avatar
    Eva Wagner

    This is brilliant. And having read that book over and over I thought the very same things! I also thought the words were kind of silly too and was not sure why it was such a popular book – I work in an art museum and hear people saying all the time, “I could paint a picture better than that.” And I think yeah, well do it…but in this case I really think most 5th graders could write a better children’s book. I often wondered why it was so popular – perhaps the absurdity/simplicity – there is something foolishly magical about it. In Bangor Maine where I live and work we have a children’s museum – Maine Discovery Museum that has an almost exact replica of this room for children to play in, except it is not as enormous. Children love it – go figure!

  287. I loved these comments…thanks❗️

  288. Hey, y’all, criticizing with comments like “too much time on your hands”, etc. You don’t get it. This is just for fun. Have some fun. Lighten up. This is hilarious!

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      Thanks 🙂 It was meant all in good fun. And oh my god, I have a toddler and I wrote this in a mad rush during his naps. I never have ENOUGH time on my hands.

  289. Brilliant! Thanks for the laugh!

  290. My teenage girls and I enjoyed this very much! And the value of it was this: as each of the illustration’s obvious absurdities were exposed, my girls’ eyes widened with recognition. Of course! They had always suspected the same things, but as children felt they could not express reproach of a classic. But now they realize that yes, indeed, their own observations and opinions are as valid as anyone’s. So, Goodnight Moon, your value to my toddlers was negligible, but thanks for this late lesson in self-confidence.

  291. I loved this. I didn’t grow up with this ‘classic’ so I never got the big deal about this book. It’s just old. I remember the first time reading it, in my late 20s and thinking, “Goodnight nobody?” Am I the only one that thought that was just being lazy?

  292. Great comments & insight. No mention of the multiple clocks? No need for all of that, especially with how loud those clocks can be while trying to sleep.
    In regards to the bowl of mush, obviously the dumb spoiled rabbit didn’t eat his dinner so before any breakfast is served the bowl of mush must be eaten. The brush is strategically located next to the mush because for rabbits brushing there fur is important like getting dressed is to humans.
    Hopefully my insights have been helpful as yours have been invaluable to me.
    Thanks.

    1. right on with the clocks! damn and im sure you know that its impossible to keep clocks in sync with one another. one second hand can be “kind of” soothing as it rhythmically ticks, but youd be hard pressed to get another to tick in time with it. that split second off-beat would drive me crazy.

  293. mary baughman Avatar
    mary baughman

    Thank you. I enjoyed this very much. I haven’t read Goodnight Moon for many years (my daughter is nearly 20), but I remembered having some of the same thoughts. So funny. Ironic too, because I just saw a book by Gertrude Stein that was illustrated by Clement Hurd. Here’s more about that: http://www.npr.org/2013/11/09/243979808/a-rose-is-a-rose-is-a-75-year-old-kids-book-by-gertrude-stein

  294. I, like many people, grew up on this book. Do you know what I noticed now that I read it to my daughter? They’re rabbits! In my head, the little old lady whispering hush was.. an old lady. Now I’m looking at it, and I’m like, why the hell is there a rabbit in the rocking chair??

  295. Allegra Smith Avatar
    Allegra Smith

    I have read this book moe time than I can count, as a child and again as an adult to my 3 kids. The only wonder I really had was about the bowl of mush: shouldn’t the rabbit have brushed his teeth after his supper, and shouldn’t the old lady have cleared it away after lights out? If he tries to eat it in the morning it’ll be germ infested gluey stodge.
    Also, our family tent back in the 70’s had the same pattern as the curtains. Very circusy.

  296. Something to keep in mind about the colors. Back when it was published printing was much more ‘primitive’ three color process was done by hand with overlays. And the artists prepared their own artwork for the printing process. That’s why so many “classics” have such hideous…I mean timeless illustrations–colorwise at least. Think millions of cats, May I bring a friend, even caps for sale has the limited color palette. Oh and I hate good night moon. Never read it to my oldest son and he’s turned out a fine human being. And I a children’s librarian. 🙂

  297. Seriously? Do NONE of you have poetry in your soul? Are you so lost in current pop culture that you can’t recognize a bedroom of “Old Time” comforts? This is a nursery. That is the Nanny. It’s an old house from a time similar to Downton Abbey, and the rest is just ridiculous whining. Complaining about a drying rack. Really? I have one of these, and setting it up next to the fireplace to dry out wet mittens and socks is perfect, then you fold it back up and put it in a closet rather than having an ugly rack permanently installed on your wall (and then you have the nerve to complain about the 3 Little Bears painting!?!)

    And none of you could possibly be parents and still be whining about a bowl of food on a table next to a brush. Neurotic germophobes. Sheesh.

    1. Mary G – I do appreciate poetry and have four children but just really despise this particular book… I think it just reminds me of people who have such long drawn out bedtime routines that their kids can’t go to sleep without. I spent more time with my kids during the day and at bathtime and taught them how to put themselves to sleep, which they all did very well (one took a longer time to get there than the other three) and can, to this day, sleep anywhere without a problem and they are now aged 19-25.

  298. I used to readthis delightful book to my little boys almost every night. At no time did we ever wonder about the objects or the size of the room. We built language skills and shared valuable, precious time with my babies who are now grown.

    1. It really is a shame that you read the same book almost every night to your children… there are SO MANY books out there that you could have shared with them too…

      1. She’d didn’t say that was the ONLY book she read to them. My mom sometimes read me two books if they were short. Lighten up.

  299. This was written a while ago. So I would guess you didn’t know what houses looked like then but that is not really the point at all. The point is children LOVE this book and parents , teachers, etc love reading it to kids. If you don’t like it don’t reading it don’t but please don’t wreck it for the many who do. I as a teacher read it many, MANY times and love it still. It is a pure, simple story that kids of all ages can take something from. Find something you enjoy reading and your child will pick up that enjoyment and leave Good Night Moon to those who treasure it’s beauty.

  300. Thank you for the couples counseling transcripts. Hilarious. As for the lack of furniture and toys, it’s all in the half of the room you can’t see, behind the viewer. They moved it all to one end of the room so the other half would be neat and presentable for the illustrator, of course. Now, the fireplace is clearly NOT a fireplace, but a cosy-looking picture of a fireplace. You can tell because there’s no chimney. There. Feel a little better?

  301. Rhoda Rose Avatar
    Rhoda Rose

    See this room and everything else through a child’s eyes! To small children everything and everyone look BIG, sometimes HUGE. The realism to children is why generations of little ones love this story, book, and pictures.

    1. I’m sorry Rhonda Rose but you just ruin it for me. I came to this page accidentally & was going to leave but the tomato colored floor struck me. I started reading this blog. I almost died from laughing until you came along with your seriousness! I never was read nor did I ever read this story….your just like my mom. Knit picky….
      I’m sorry, I don’t want to lose this page but I forgot who write this or I’d check. Thank you for a great laugh. After reading it though, I was wondering why this hough here isn’t any mouse turds. Thanks for having me laugh & smile, Mary (now I feel really stupid, Rhonda Rose wrote this & I cut her down. )

  302. The commentary from Deb, Shawna and Mary G are almost as funny as your post. How do they NOT get it? I read this to my 17 month old daughter multiple times a day and have often pondered the same things! That mouse!! HA! It really is a great classic, at first I hated it but now it’s one of my faves, WAY better then Little Quack Counts or Too Princessy! I an not ashamed to admit that I hide those on a regular basis.

  303. That’s a drying rack, not a clothesline. I have one. it’s collapsible. I can unfold it in the tub and hang dry anything that shouldn’t be machine dried. It’s also awesome on camping trips for towels and such because it’s lightweight and folds flat…just be careful if it’s super windy. I highly recommend getting one.

  304. …and it’s there because it’s next to the fire where things will dry fastest. I know, I just killed your bitchin.

  305. All of you wondering about the animal skin rug — did any of you ever read The Little Princess? Sara Crewe had a tiger skin rug on her floor and it was a big comfort to her when she missed her Papa. Maybe this was an homage to that story?

  306. My husband noticed one day that it takes 70 minutes for all the action in the story to occur if you watch the clock on the mantle. That Bunny really has trouble falling asleep. We both laughed out loud at this piece. Well done.

  307. My wife and I have been reading this book EVERY NIGHT for the last 18 months to our son and we can’t stop laughing about this article. My personal gripe about the book is that the things listed in the room are only 50% of the things you actually say goodnight to…

  308. It’s always been my interpretation that the child is not feeling well and is sleeping in its parents’ room; do you think this explains come of the inconstancies you mention?

  309. My lord, how fatuous this is. First off, the book was not made to be taken literally. It was designed to soothe, not to be read word for word. The smooth flowing beat and rhythm of the words help lull a child to sleep, as well as the rhyming leaving resonance with the child. If you don’t believe me, why don’t you go and obtain a four year degree in Music Therapy?
    Secondly, the book is part of a series that was all written by Margaret Wise Brown- WHO WAS A CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST. They are meant to alleviate a child’s angst and worries.
    So next time you feel like criticizing a work, you should be less asinine by actually picking up some erudition about the work. Really. Your opinions show that you are truly vapid in your critique.

    1. Ames – I suppose by your pretentious, elevated, thesaurus-type vocabulary that we should agree with what you put out in your comment. Margaret Wise Brown may have been a child pyschologist 80 years ago but she did not like children nor did she have any of her own!! We are entitled to dislike this book for whatever reason we put out there. I don’t like it and my four children did not like it either. Music therapy is completely different from children’s literature – you are the only who is truly vapid. I am Ivy League educated with two masters degrees in education and have siblings who are music educators as well as performers and resent your assumptions, though your opinions are irrelevant to me.

      1. Jan, please lighten up. We get that you hated the book, OK?

  310. As a British reader of your blog I have never seen or read Goodnight Moon, although I now really want to! I thought your musings were hilarious nonetheless! I often have similar thoughts about the illustrations in older books – take a look at Mog, The Forgetful Cat (Judith Kerr) which features a burglar who is given a cup of tea by the family whose house he just broke into while the police ask him questions in the cosy kitchen!
    Keep up the great writing I love reading your posts!
    PS According to Wikipedia the rabbit in Goodnight Moon is thought to be in its mothers bed in her room! Not sure that’s a good habit to get into!

  311. These comments are hysterical. I LOVE THIS BOOK. My daughter LOVED THIS BOOK. People, please lighten up. You are missing the point – it’s called HUMOR. The first thing the writer said is that Goodnight Moon is a wonderful book.

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      Because it is a wonderful book. With the books I actually don’t like (and there are some) I hide them under the sofa so my son can’t get attached to them. 🙂

  312. Let’s stop and think for a minute. Margaret Wise Brown wrote this in 1947. She was born in 1910. So when she was a small child her room quite possibly was like this. Maybe not the colors (read some of her other books…lots of color) but she probably had a large room in a large old home. The fireplace wouldn’t have had a screen in 1920. Nor would she have had many toys. Plastic toys were not the norm, and there weren’t many mass produced toys, so a child wouldn’t have had the hundreds of toys they have now. As for the mouse, could it be a pet? We are talking about a bunny here, could the mouse be a pet? Here’s a thought. Read the book, enjoy it for what it is.

  313. Christina Avatar
    Christina

    This book was written more than half a century ago which easily explains most of your criticisms. The artists work was inspired by colors of the French modernist movement which may also explain the bold coloring. See. A simple google search is all you need to do, instead of spending all this time nitpicking fairytales and children’s books.

  314. Sharon Rue Avatar
    Sharon Rue

    Hahahaha! Very funny. But seriously, this is what happens when an adult looks with grown-up eyes at a child’s book. Fantasy flies out the window and everything becomes “practical” and “rational.” Have to enjoy the humor in this piece. Kind of a reminder to all of us that it’s more fun to be a kid as often as possible.

  315. maybe it’s not the bedroom. Maybe it’s the living room, and either the family is too poor to afford a house with multiple rooms (the mother rabbit will ultimately retire to the same bed shortly after this photo was taken) or else the kid has a terminal disease and they’ve moved his bed to the common area to make his caregiving easier.

  316. You didn’t even touch on the fact that when the old rabbit lady is done knitting that row, she is going to have to put down her knitting, lock the cats in the closet, and spend twenty minutes untangling her yarn before she can keep going. Just saying.

  317. The mouse severs a very important purpose. On every page you ask your child to find the mouse. He is there for a reason and my kids loved that part of this book. Believe me with 5 kids, I have read this book thousands of times. It will always be a classic even with it’s non childproofed fireplace. Goodnight Noises Everywhere.

  318. Loved this! I really never got that book. Read it once to my daughter at bedtime and it bored her as much as it did me! None of my kids would let me read that one more than once. Where’s the action?! The suspense? The intrigue?! When will something come bursting in the window and have nanny rabbit rescue the sleeping bunny? We did read The Napping House over and over and over but at the end of that one they all wake up, go outside and play if I remember right. P.S. I am an elementary school teacher- I love children’s literature- this one never spoke to me.

    1. Oh And I am also the grump that threw out Love you Forever when my mother in law gave it to me to read to my baby boys. I was like, no way- just because you didn’t cut the cord with your baby boy doesn’t mean I will go full on helicopter mom stalk mode with my grown sons as well.

    2. Glad I am not the only one you really disliked Love You Forever!!! I do love my kids forever but not like that psycho!

  319. Hilarious. I’m not a parent, not yet, but have reread Goodnight Moon with little ones as I’ve aged. I laughed at every one of these observations!!!

    But still, it takes me back to think if how i perceived all of these things as a wee one – i believe GM posesses some magical lullaby spell to cast over the youngest minds. The palette is, yeah, horrible for real life, but soooooo stimulating for kids, esp as it gets darker… It just captivates the kids and brings them along to sleepland. The words are like a mantra lullaby!

    And as for all of the objects- equally captivating, strange to me as a kid in the 80s, but so fascinating. I can only imagine how fascinated kids nowdays will perceive things like the telephone– 25 yrs ago we at least still had landlines and only landlines. Just interesting to gauge through this book how culture changes, and that this book is still such a standard even as it becomes more and more outdated with every generation.

    Still….thanks for the good laughs. Gotta share with my folks, and the dear friends with a current 2 yr old.
    Signed,
    One who rode in the same ugly volvo from age <2 to 20

  320. Oh yeah… This also reminds me of what my dad would say (out of our earshot) after reading us Owl At Home by arn Lobel.

  321. Oh yeah… This also reminds me of what my dad would say (out of our earshot) after reading us Owl At Home by Arnold Lobel, another simpleton kinda story that we adored, shaking his head: “Dumb f$@king owl…”

  322. This made my day!

  323. I turned my son’s room INTO the Goodnight Moon room for Christmas. Down to the tiger rug and all (minus the colors of the room, I wasn’t going that far, but all the items are down to the T)

  324. Absolutely love the existential nature of “good Night Moon” it’s like an intersection of Kafka and Teletubbies:) and totally intrigued by the very patient and creative mother who made her child’s room look like Good night moon’s bedroom for Christmas. I’m in awe of that because it is a very thoughtful act of love for the child. Perhaps, why I say that might make more sense when you get to my final comment, I hope. – I think this book is totally different from “I’ll Love You Forever” storybook which I find manipulative and potentially harmful to a sensitive child. It engenders fear of loss and deterioration unnecessarily. In short, it is about the adult view of self/fear/longing and purports to be about love., however, I am certain the author meant well and probably performs a useful concept for some children. Who may be watching their parents deal with grandparents or for the adult mentally challenged needing to deal with aging parents..It is probably just jarring to some of us. But back to “Goodnight Moon” -I think it is somewhat masterful in this-somehow the illustrator/author envisions how a very young child might put together all the varying ordinary things of the world that the adults around them “name , use, and provide for the child. Imagine how it might be for a very young child to put together size, dimension, color, form, books with animal parents and kids and you have the image log of “Goodnight Moon” . It is totally incongruous to the adult or possibly the early aware child or 3 or 4 year old who has surpassed this stage and is ready for story telling. But, for the wee one, it is restful., I think because it doesn’t require the young child to do the object sorting that they may do during the day, it is restful and calming., I am very grateful that I saw a friend share your site and followed it because this little revelation is a direct result of your fun piece on this classic storybook for the very young. Thanks!

  325. When you close the book the room gets smaller ? Mother Rabbit is then next to the bed and able to reach the phone when the Doctor calls ! It’s a humans’ bedroom with some rabbit furniture in it so of course the proportions will be off. The view of the roof seems to be from the ceiling looking down……….I’m guessing we are looking , at this scene, thru the eyes of a spider. Spiders have multiple eyes which would distort everything……including color. Enjoy

  326. Graham Milne Avatar
    Graham Milne

    so, talking about the pictures on the wall, there is a nice pleasant one depicting a quiet day fishing in a stream. Nothing concerning there… Until you notice the fisherman in the picture is using a carrot for bait. Odd. Then as you look closer the truth dawns on you. The fisherman is a rabbit, and he is pulling another rabbit out of the stream… Can you say Cannibalism anyone?

  327. Roxane Hughes Avatar
    Roxane Hughes

    Geez, what a grouch! To a kid, most spaces are huge, colors are primary, and so are concepts. Goodnight, Moon rules!

  328. Maybe he can’t sleep so he’s staying in the parents master bedroom? And this book is about civilized rabbits, is it not possible the mouse is also? I agree the colors are awful, but apparently rabbits have different taste than humans 😉

  329. Congrats, you made me laugh so hard I cried and everyone at work is staring at me.

  330. As a Marriage and Family therapist, who has been reading this book for the past 2 years too ( at home ) I found the couples counseling session very insightful:) I am not sure how I missed the obvious, and am now considering hanging the portrait in my office! That was hilarious!

  331. Christina Iwanowicz Avatar
    Christina Iwanowicz

    What? No mention of the metafictional use of the book itself placed on the bureau? The narrative indicating itself in this manner clearly excuses all of the questionable interior design choices by suggesting an expansive, surreal setting. Symbolic of the bunny-child’s boundless imagination. Duh. Pretty sure this is just inherently obvious to most of the book’s three-year-old audience.

    And those books on the shelf over there? Thornton W. Burgess’ Green Forest Series in hardback, first editions. Or possibly Old Mother West Winds. From that pre-post-modern era when children’s fiction contained more than eight pages.

  332. This was the first version of Inception….you are reading Goodnight Moon and there is a copy of Goodnight moon on the kid’s nightstand….

  333. Julia Balucz Avatar
    Julia Balucz

    You forgot to comment on the creepy animal skin rug… definitely gives me the shivers.

    “Mother, why do we have the skin of a wild beast on the floor of my room?”

    “Well, son… many years ago, your grandfather was one of the candidates vying for the position of Chief Rabbit in a village across the ocean. Whoever killed the scariest animal would rule the tribe.”

    “So Grandpa became chief because of killing the wild beast?”

    “No, son. He lost. In his rage, he stole the new chief’s trophy catch, turned it into a rug, and fled to America, home of the brave. ”

    “Wow! What a legacy! I can’t wait to tell my friends!”

  334. Kim Brindley Avatar
    Kim Brindley

    Oh stop people! Adults get sick of reading this book over and over (believe me, at one point I thought I’d shoot myself if I had to read it one more time) but OBVIOUSLY it’s magical to children and must somehow be important to their developmental growth because their love for it is universal and absolute. Being a parent sucks some of the time. So suck it up.

  335. Lashonda Avatar
    Lashonda

    This is pretty funny. I think I know the answer to some of them! They co-sleep and share the room. That’s why it’s so big and there are so many adult features. The useless clothesline is a Montessori work for little rabbit to practice life skills. There’s no explanation for the decor choice and mouse infestation. 🙂

  336. Very funny gave me a chuckle and something to read while feeding my son at 4am however I do have a few comments,
    1: I’ve had a bedroom this big before complete with fireplace, not rich just from another country (Australia)
    2: Its fairly common for doll houses to have working lights, (my old barbie house had a working elevator!)
    6: Thats a clothes horse, its portable you put in front of a fireplace or heater when it’s been raining. They fold away and are stored elsewhere when not in use.

    Thoroughly enjoyed the interior decorating comments! Red and green for a bedroom yuk!

  337. The story is supposed to be about a child (rabbit) sleeping in his *parents* bedroom while they’re away. So 90% of these objections are irrelevant.

    You totally missed the real issues, like the socks disappearing from the drying rack when he says goodnight to them!

  338. Anita Jo Hollis Avatar
    Anita Jo Hollis

    Despite having just squeezed the prescribed 2 drops of solution into my eyes to prevent “weeping,” I’ve had to wipe teardrops from my chinny, chin chin after reading your hilarious commentary on a book I have read to three generations. Thank you, Thank you.

  339. Rachel L Avatar
    Rachel L

    I knew that book annoyed the bejesus out of me. Now I not only understand why, but I feel vindicated. Thankyou.

  340. Christine Avatar
    Christine

    Cute list, but one comment about the little mouse… He’s actually on every bedroom page of the book, moving from one corner, to a windowsill, to the fireplace…all over like your real life comment. Took me about 50 times reading it to my son to notice. 🙂

  341. You have entirely to much time on your hands. Not only to notice all the above listed, but to dissect and also blog about it. Amazing.

  342. Johanna Bowen Avatar
    Johanna Bowen

    Whoa there, the “clothesline” is a wooden collapsable rack that is very functional in small apartments. Still sold, still in use, have one myself.

  343. It’s a book for children for crying out loud. I’m sure the color Scheme is attractive to young children. I read this book to my son so many times I had it memorized. Find something else to really complain about.

  344. Your article was a joy to read. After some thought, here is alternative analysis about the room. This room belongs to the bunny’s parents. Daddy is away on a business trip, so bunny gets to sleep wth mom in her bed while he’s away. The telephone is on dad’s bedside, the brush and comb on Mom’s side. The mush just happens to be there because bunny is trying every trick he can to avoid sleep. Mom and Dad have a few toys in their room so they can doze once in awhile but still monitor their kids. The room decor is awful because Dad decorated the room when he was still a bachelor and he also happens to be red-green color blind. Those are law books on the shelf because Dad is a lawyer. In fact, the painting on the wall was given to him by the three bears after he successfully won their case when they were accused of eating Goldilocks. The mouse is a friend (they’re all rodents, after all), and the mittens and socks are drying by th fire after a long day of playing in the snow. The parents don’t have a screen in front of the fireplace because it’s their room. But I’m sure they will remedy that when some bunny’s paw gets singed. Also, I don’t want anyone thinking I’m stereotyping professions when I note father is a lawyer. Mom is a successful big game hunter and also a children’s author and illustrator. She wrote “Runaway Bunny.”

  345. Ummm… Firstly, they are RABBITS. Rabbits are SMALL. Therefore any normal size room they might inhabit would seem extremely large in comparison. Secondly, not EVERYONE lives in New York City. As a matter of fact most people DO NOT live in NYC. Normal people who live in the rest of the country also live in normal sized houses with normal sized rooms, not the obscenely tiny excuses for apartments the New Yorkers seem to think is the norm so it is not out of the question that a child, and probably many children around the world, actually have a bedroom this size. If you want to pick on someone who exaggerates the size of rooms, take a look at Hollywood where they depict a low level office worker in Manhattan living in a huge 1500+ square foot apartment that would be SO far beyond their actual budget that is is ludicrous. And lastly, its a KIDS room! What, you want it decorated in boring neutrals? Kids like color. Lots and lots of bright colors.

    1. This is satire.

  346. Oh my goodness. This is so funny I’m literally bawling. Great job! Thanks so much for sharing this… and ignore everyone who is taking it so seriously – it’s entertainment people!

  347. I just figured that’s the way someone would decorate in the late 1940s . Apparently there is some lady who has written a bunch of books dissecting the symbolism of the whole trilogy

  348. Jobeth LaFuria Avatar
    Jobeth LaFuria

    As a child, I read the Encyclopedia Britanica, from the bookcase that was in my bedroom.

  349. Christy Swanson Avatar
    Christy Swanson

    I SO enjoyed this! I have one addition. I live in the country and have both cats and rabbits on the property. It is not a peaceful coexistence. Perhaps there is a reason for that tomato colored floor in baby rabbit’s bedroom.

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      good call.

  350. You’re WAAYYY overthinking this.

  351. I wonder what you would do with Cat in the Hat?

  352. Yes, giving a bunny (average weight 3 lb.) kittens that will grow into adult cats (average weight 10 lb.) that hunt bunnies and mice (Good night, Unmentionable Mouse!) is pretty sick. I graduated my daughter from Goodnight Moon to Goodnight Keith Moon (http://www.amazon.com/Goodnight-Keith-Moon-Bruce-Worden/dp/0956011926/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1422375878&sr=8-1&keywords=Goodnight+Keith+Moon) very quickly; it turned out to be a much better choice and taught her enduring life lessons!

  353. design wise, i dont understand why there is a gigantic round woven carpet with a animal skin right next to it…its a bedroom, not a area rug showroom.
    also that large picture should not be hanging over a child’s bed. CPS101. But more importantly, if that child stood up next to the bed, it must have come up to his shoulders at least. how the hell does it get in every night, and out every morning.

  354. comparing the mother to child size-wise, shouldnt the child be pink and hairless…and blind? a creature like that needs to be kept in bedding that retains heat better than a bed much to long for a single, but not quite wide enough for a full. and in one that, should he roll off, he wont plummet to his death.

  355. I’ve been reading this book to my six kids since the oldest was born in 1995. Youngest is 19 months. Many of these same thoughts have crossed my mind over the years. Thanks for the light-hearted critique.

  356. Obviously some time has passed between the first and last pages. The moon has moved from the edge of the window to the middle. The mouse is gone. What has happened? The cats caught the mouse and deposited it at the old lady’s feet. The old lady screamed “eek”, jumped up, disposed of the mouse somehow. She then gathered up the ball of yarn and the length trailing across the floor and settled herself. The cats are sitting expectantly, hoping to get their yarn ball back. The little bunny is back in bed (you didn’t think he would lie quietly watching all this, do you?) and ready to go to sleep. Maybe.

    1. Look more closely. The mouse is always there.

  357. Hilarious!

  358. Reading this article was hard. It’s a children’s book do you think your son will notice the books being too thick or think that the drying rack is taking up too much room? No but an obsessive compulsive adult might. The way this article was worded really made me feel like I was dealing with an impulsive parent. That’s just me thiugh

  359. I’m sure the publisher at the time had a limited color palette. There are only 5 colors (other than black and white), and the 5th isn’t used often (pink).

    Other than that, spot on.

  360. sara brenner Avatar
    sara brenner

    hysterically funny and clever – thank you for some great belly laughs

  361. The book on the bedside table is titled “Goodnight Moon.”
    Consider my mind… Blown.

  362. Dana Middleton Avatar
    Dana Middleton

    I read the book to both my daughters (now aged 36 with a two-year old) and 29. We always enjoyed the rhythm and the “hush”. I’ve always been bothered by the fireplace in a child’s bedroom,
    the black telephone (?) but most importantly the MOUSE. I think I may have asked “And why do you think that little, tiny mouse is just sitting there?” Maybe they answered “I don’t KNOW” – or “Waiting for a cat to chase him?” I did find a framed copy of the art in a thrift shop a few years ago and bought it for my little grand daughter. I love it all in spite of all the humorous comments you have made. Thank you so much, it made my day too!

  363. This was DELIGHTFUL! Razor sharp wit, and truly funny!