The Ugly Volvo

Enjoy it. Because it Goes So Fast. (In Illustrations)

My kid is still very young.  Often veteran mothers will get that dreamy, far-away look in their eyes and tell me to enjoy this time with my little one because it goes so fast.  And I nod and half-agree with them.  Yes, it does, sometimes.  There are parts of it that are already going way too fast and there are parts that are not going anywhere near fast enough.

This is how (in my experience) it normally plays out.

goes so fast the ugly volvo 1 text

 

goes so fast the ugly volvo 2 text

 

goes so fast the ugly volvo 3 text

 

goes so fast the ugly volvo 4 text

 

goes so fast the ugly volvo 6 edit

 

goes so fast the ugly volvo 5 text

 

goes so fast the ugly volvo 7 text

 

goes so fast the ugly volvo 8 text

 

the ugly volvo shao khan edit

 

it goes so fast the ugly volvo 9.1

*               *               *

If you enjoyed this post, please like The Ugly Volvo on Facebook or half-heartedly follow me on Twitter or, if you are feeling really ambitious, sign up HERE to be notified when I post a new entry.  (About twice a month).  If you do this last one I will be forever in your debt and also I will name a humpback whale after you.

And to all the parents who tell me “it goes so fast,” please know that yes, you are right.   It does go so fast.  I don’t always feel like hearing that, but I promise I do know it.  A few weeks ago I wrote about it here.

Comments

36 responses to “Enjoy it. Because it Goes So Fast. (In Illustrations)”

  1. Rob Macdermid Avatar
    Rob Macdermid

    I also did a cartoon on this very theme not long ago. I think yours is funnier. 🙂
    http://themorninghit.com/2015/03/12/14th-morning/

    Reply
  2. Deva Dalporto Avatar
    Deva Dalporto

    Perfect! Ha ha ha!!!!

    Reply
  3. Tessa Martin Avatar
    Tessa Martin

    I agree it does go fast, my girls are 12&nearly 16. I’m not sure what’s worse a toddler temper tantrum or 2 basically teenagers. I remember it was a LOT cheaper. Their toys rarely cost too much money. Now it’s iPhone’s, iPads, game consoles the list is endless. So yes in a way I’d love to be able to go back in time to when they were little…..To start saving for when they became teenagers lol

    Reply
  4. caroline seguin Avatar
    caroline seguin

    You always make me laugh…and make me think too. I’ll try to stop saying exactly that to the moms with small children I see! Mine is 21…I miss when she was very young but it is easier now for sure!

    Reply
  5. Paula Becker Avatar
    Paula Becker

    East Village Inky’s Ayun Halliday said it best: Anyone who tells you “Oh, it all went so fast,” hasn’t spent the morning cleaning up glitter.

    Reply
    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      truer words never spoken.

      Reply
  6. Reluctant Launderer Avatar
    Reluctant Launderer

    People* are forever saying that to me too. I find that responding with “Really? Because I don’t think it goes fast enough” generally shuts them up. (*By “people” I mean mainly my mother.)

    Reply
  7. jerry Avatar
    jerry

    you know, there are untold mothers out there who deserve a apology from me because i.m the person rambling on…great post

    Reply
  8. Pieter Avatar
    Pieter

    You made me snort…I like to snort.

    Reply
  9. Erin Boyle Avatar
    Erin Boyle

    They say it goes by so fast, so you’ll attempt to enjoy it more. In reality, it goes by so fast, so you don’t have time to notice how much you lose your fucking mind. Mother of three. Truth be told.

    Reply
  10. buppymama Avatar
    buppymama

    OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! This is so hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you! 🙂 🙂 🙂

    Reply
  11. Claudia Phillips Avatar
    Claudia Phillips

    You got it right! Mine are now 24 and 28. I loved seeing them grow up! It did not go by too fast. So often it seemed like they would never grow up. I’m so glad I have my boys, but I never say it was easy raising them! Great post!

    Reply
  12. Ana Simoes Avatar
    Ana Simoes

    ahahahahahha, I totally know the feeling.
    Specially the “please help”. I would add “can you just please bring food??”

    Reply
    1. Donna Kaminski Avatar
      Donna Kaminski

      Absolutely… Send help? No…send FOOD!! My daughter recently gave birth and is non-stop nursing my last grandson…who is now 10 months old….meaning, it feels like yesterday as she is just as busy. She runs a day care, is raising two other children (9 and 18 – don’t ask me why she spread them out like this, maybe it was so I never had to have ‘nana nights’ with more than one at a time) and the baby hardly sleeps, so she gets very little sleep too.
      I help out – as a trained chef – I do the grocery shopping and prep dinners for the week. This is a huge help to her. And I get to squeeze the little one every week!

      Reply
  13. Erin Avatar
    Erin

    Some parts do go fast. Like when they are napping. That part goes so fast.

    Reply
    1. Donna Kaminski Avatar
      Donna Kaminski

      So fast. Especially when you have one that sleeps in 15 minute intervals only. Ever. All night.

      Reply
  14. Victoria Easter Wilson Avatar
    Victoria Easter Wilson

    You are my parenting spirit animal.

    Reply
    1. Nicole Avatar
      Nicole

      THIS.

      Reply
  15. Erin Avatar
    Erin

    You are a great mom. I see that you put water wings on your little one. Safety first.

    Reply
  16. Jenny Avatar
    Jenny

    I’m a big fan of your writing as well as your art and now I am also a fan of the people who comment here. I want to meet them all for drinks.

    Reply
    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      I’m also a pretty big fan of most commenters. I often find myself wishing the site had a “like comment” button the way Facebook does.

      Reply
    2. Donna Kaminski Avatar
      Donna Kaminski

      Great idea!! How do we arrange this incredible get-together. I’m all for it. I will bring the tequila, limes, triple sec and lime juice….and salt, for those who want to make their margarita a meal!

      Reply
  17. Amy Coppola Avatar
    Amy Coppola

    A wise woman once told me, “the days are LONG, but the years go fast.”

    Reply
  18. Maegan Heise Avatar
    Maegan Heise

    Loved it. Have never had to protect my child from Shao Khan, but have had him ask me about my zombie preparedness. Honestly, I miss my nonverbal, entertained by a cookie and a weird kids show with puppet show-child at times. But then I remember how much I adore sleep and sanity, not being thrown up on and no last minute frantic searches for the toy he needs.

    Reply
  19. Beck Avatar
    Beck

    You forgot the picture of the mom with baby putting a banana peel right where the annoying lady is about to step.

    Reply
  20. Ellesar Avatar
    Ellesar

    I live in a state of cognitive dissonance about the whole thing – I can remember both the beautiful and perfect times with my wonderful babies, AND the terrible times. Apparently there is NO middle ground. I wish I could see them again as babies, but I do not want the constant demands and stresses. I miss them being younger, but really more the ages 5 – 10, which is much less conflicted.

    Reply
  21. Dr. Marcie Avatar
    Dr. Marcie

    This is so funny, creative and true! Thank you for it!

    Reply
  22. Cassie Avatar
    Cassie

    It does go fast. It felt like 5 minutes…under water.

    Reply
  23. Larissa Avatar
    Larissa

    Have been missing your posts! No laughs for me since May. Hope all is well with you and your little one.

    Reply
    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      working on a larger project but I’m just now finishing it up and getting back to blogging 🙂 Thanks for the nice note.

      Reply
  24. Nate Avatar
    Nate

    Ha! This is hilarious. I don’t have kids yet, but… I imagine this is what it is like a lot of the time.

    Reply
  25. Sabrina Avatar
    Sabrina

    I found your blog through the post on how tattoos will ruin your life, but babies are totally fine. I just spent the last seven hours reading through everything and laughing like a madman.

    This blog has served so, so many times to just reinforce why I never want kids, but damn, your writing is absolutely brilliant!

    My mom sent me off to college not long ago and she was saying pretty much the same thing: it’s over too fast. Good thing she has my teenaged brother left to keep her company. 😛

    Reply
  26. Angie Avatar
    Angie

    FINISH HIM!
    this was absolutely one of the funniest things I have ever read. Excellent.

    Reply
    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      I say it in real life all the time and always wonder who knows what I’m talking about and who thinks I’m a lunatic.

      Reply
  27. Iris Avatar
    Iris

    Nope. I can assure you, it doesn’t. Being a mum of a 10 and 12 year old I am (quite suddenly) faced with the fact that I am going to be mum of teenage future women and won’t have little girls by my side anymore. But despite the teenage surprise, it definitely did not go fast. Years of sleepless exhaustion, cold coffee, peeing in company and having a short person shouting some sort of emergency at me I as was trying to rinse the shampoo out of my hair in in the shower were just that: Years and years. Ages. Aeons. And although in my memory I mostly stored the cute episodes, I love leaving the house with just a quick check of ‘keys, money, lipstick’, go. Wait another ten years though, and I probably will stand in front of some sleep-deprived young woman with spew on her track-suit bottom and tell her how I blinked, and it was gone. Memory does that to you.

    Reply
  28. Lorre Avatar
    Lorre

    Maybe raising children is like childbirth. After it’s over you forget the pain?

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *