The Ugly Volvo

Category: Uncategorized

  • BINGO

    It’s January 1st as I begin typing this, and already I’ve made an avalanche of resolutions that I will never in a million years be able to keep.  I’ve promised myself I’d read between 9 and 12 books, one of which is an 800-page biography of Theodore Roosevelt called “Wilderness Warrior,” which, for the record,…

  • Fun, Foolproof Tips for Getting the Perfect Photo with Santa

    I like when photos turn out well.  I don’t want to pretend I’m the most laid back person on earth and can always immediately say, “Oh, it’s totally fine!  I didn’t even care about getting a good photo!  Kids will be kids!”  I am decent at constructively dealing with disappointment, but that does not mean…

  • The 8 Items Every New Parent Needs

    The Buy Buy Baby on 7th Avenue in Manhattan is a great place to go if you’re looking to have a full-blown panic attack.    There are thousands of items lining the shelves and yet, as a new parent, it’s hard to tell what you’re actually going to need.  You’re trying to get ready to bring home…

  • Brunch With My Baby

    This week I’ve been guest blogging at the site Brunch With My Baby.  Alexis Barad-Cutler runs an eating out/food blog for people with young kids where she reviews local restaurants for both their food and their child-friendliness.  She asked if I could “review my favorite place to eat in Jersey City.”  I said, “Oh yeah,…

  • The Best Part of Parenting is that Everything Always Goes Flawlessly

    I was kind of excited to give my son food for the first time because I love food.  Not making it, but eating it.  And also because the books you read about having a baby portray all of the milestones as being kind of magical.  “Giving him his first solid food?  It’ll be magical!  Experimenting…

  • 10 Super Super Super Low Budget Costumes for Kids

    Every year I spend month after month brainstorming amazing costume ideas only to realize that it’s suddenly the end of October and I have done nothing and I now have fewer than 6 days to put together some sort of mediocre costume made from particle board and old sweaters.  Every year I do this. That…

  • Why Having a Baby is Like Getting the Hiccups

    I am tired of getting advice from total strangers on how to raise a baby. Last week I was harassed in the 59th street Subway station by a woman on the platform who went on for about ten minutes about all the things I was doing wrong, and how hopefully if I had another kid…

  • Your Baby’s Cries: DECIPHERED

    So one of the things that made me the most nervous about having a baby was not being able to tell why he was crying.  And I read plenty of articles and talked to plenty of experienced mothers who said, “Don’t worry!  Your maternal instinct will kick in and you’ll be able to figure out…

  • Easy Ways to Adultproof Your Home

    So I have a baby who’ll be mobile in a few months/weeks/minutes and my coffee table is constructed out of jagged splinters that are held together by rusted nails and broken pieces of metal.  Here is a close-up picture of what it looks like: So obviously this cannot be anywhere near a baby who is…

  • A Baby Book of Disasters

    So I have this baby book for my son that I use to record his milestones, and it is boring.  It is so, so boring.  Half the time I don’t even remember to write things down when they happen because I am so wholly uninterested in recording things for this stupid book.  “Today he rolled…