The Ugly Volvo

10 Unique Baby Names So Adorable You’ll Want to Have Another Kid Just to Use One

Of all the many things you’ll give your child over his or her lifetime, the first is one of the most lasting– their name.  So many parents spend hours trying to find a perfect, unique name, only to find that by the time their child is a toddler, the once-perfect name has become ubiquitous.  If you’re one of those parents looking for something standout but familiar, take notes!  The list below includes some adorable, often gender-neutral baby names that, much like your child, are completely and totally one-of-a-kind.

photo credit: Brooke Raymond
photo credit: Brooke Raymond

 

1.Modem

newborn joshua rappeneker
photo credit: Joshua Rappeneker

A beautiful, simple name for parents working in the tech sector or for any parent who draws inspiration from items hastily pushed to the side of his or her desktop.  For a rough-and-tumble set of twins, Modem matches beautifully with the equally gender neutral name Router—another computer-inspired name with a classic Germanic feel.

2.  Uniqlo

photo credit: Brooke Raymond
photo credit: Brooke Raymond

A super cute name for those who don’t want their child to feel tied to his or her gender.  Regardless of what you’re having, Uniqlo is a beautiful, unique name for a boy or a girl or also, theoretically, a Japanese clothing store.

3. Elloel

newborn 1 sharyn morrow
photocredit: sharyn morrow

A jubilant song of a name, Elloel is a version of the online abbreviation LOL spelled out in a way that makes it seem a little bit French, particularly if you always say it with a French accent, which we strongly recommend you attempt.

4. Guelph

photo credit: jolin lee
photo credit: jolin lee

A name with an earthy, woodland feel, Guelph is both an inspired, elven-style name for a newborn and a mid-sized Canadian city with low crime rates, clean environment and generally high standard of living.   Guelph (the city, not your potential newborn) has been noted as having one of the lowest unemployment rates in the country throughout the 2008–2012 global recession and has ranked at the bottom of Canada’s crime severity list since 2007.

5. Zeppole

newborn k.d.e.e.
photo credit: kevin dee baby photography

Beautiful, classic name with Italian roots.  Perfect for those babies constantly being told, “You’re so cute, I could just eat you up!”

6. Macadam

photo credit: margus kulden
photo credit: margus kulden

Looking for a name that implies strength and firmness?  Macadam, in addition to being a popular type of road covering in which compacted layers of broken stone are bound with bitumen or tar, is also a lovely, Scottish-sounding name that you can give to your daughter if you just totally can’t come up with anything.

7. Tote

photo credit: marie in NC
photo credit: marie in NC

Cute and rugged name that’s perfect for a boy or a girl.  The ideal name for something sort of grungy and unwashed that you bring literally everywhere with you.  Particularly fitting if you conceived your child after donating $60 to NPR.

8. Osprey

photo credit: amber mcnamara
photo credit: amber mcnamara

Following in the trend of sweet bird-themed names like Wren and Robin, Osprey is just coming to light as a name whose popularity is on the rise.   If you’re longing for an avian-themed newborn but this isn’t quite what you’re looking for, the list of bird-themed gender neutral names is wonderfully expansive and includes Sparrow, Finch, Plover, Emperor Penguin (Kim K strongly considered for her second child!), Spoonbill, Boat-Tailed Grackle and Northern Goshawk.

9. That Noise Anthony Hopkins Makes After He Talks About Eating That Guy’s Liver With the Fava Beans and a Nice Chianti

photo credit: guillaume seguin
photo credit: guillaume seguin

While an unconventional and bold choice, picking this name means looking forward to a lifetime of your child’s name being called out loud for public events.  Piano recitals.  High school graduations.  Anywhere your child’s name is being read out loud, some adult at a podium is being required to make this noise which, if you haven’t seen the movie, sort of sounds like a very evil person slurping Jell-O for a long time.

10. The Sound Computers Used to Make When Dialup Connected to AOL

photo credit: nathan rice
photo credit: nathan rice

Want to raise an outstanding human being?  Any child with this name will do amazing things because they’ll have to work literally twice as hard to prove (to themselves and the numerous people who made fun of them in elementary school) that they are more than just a ridiculous, unique name.  I guarantee that this child will exceed everyone’s expectations.  Give us about four decades before we broadcast the words: Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present the next president of the United States—Mrs. Brief dial tone leading into sound of buttons being dialed—high pitched fluctuating noises—BOING—higher pitched fluctuating noises—BOING BOING—static—BOING—static—BOING BOING—STATIC STATIC STATIC—BOING!!—LIGHTNING STORM!!—ROBOT FLATULENCE + MORE STATIC + LIGHTNING STORM + CRAZY LIGHTNING STORM!!!—“YOU’VE GOT MAIL.”   

 

 

  *               *               *

If you enjoyed this post, please like The Ugly Volvo on Facebook or follow me on Twitter.  Or follow the blog by signing up at the bottom of the page.  Or just go, “Hmmm, I liked this post,” and then go about your day.  I’ll be ok.  Although for serious the Facebook thing takes like literally 7 seconds.  


Comments

18 responses to “10 Unique Baby Names So Adorable You’ll Want to Have Another Kid Just to Use One”

  1. sandra getgood Avatar
    sandra getgood

    I love the way you look at life straight on, and then a little sideways, just enough to make me smile. Or laugh. Another great post.

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      thanks!

  2. “Osprey” gave me a great idea for another girl’s name: Heron! Pronounced, of course, with a silent H like “Erin.”

    The tech-inspired names are fantastic too. Can’t you just picture little Braedon sneaking a kiss from his first girlfriend, Malware?

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      I’m mad I didn’t think of Malware, that would’ve been a great one.

  3. Sherry C Avatar
    Sherry C

    I liked your post but wanted to point that MacAdam is actually Scottish name that’s why it is “Scottish-sounding”…John Loudon McAdam was an engineer who developed tarmac -hence the name. Apologies if I missed the point and it was your intention to use “ignorance” as a part of the humour.

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      It was– I actually Wikipedia-d it to learn more about the description and history of macadam and found that out and went “Ugh, well that makes sense.” But I liked the idea of naming a child after paving materials too much to change it. Was between Macadam and “Gravel.”

      1. Parental Unit Avatar
        Parental Unit

        MacAdam was the answer to one of the questions on Jeopardy last night. One of the few answers I got right, thanks to your blog.

  4. Parental Unit Avatar
    Parental Unit

    I think Elloel sounds like a beautiful name. Seriously.

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      I know. Which just makes it 1000 times more weird. But yes, bizarrely, it sort of is.

  5. I can totally see kids being named “Osprey.” It’s just a matter of time.

  6. Nancy S. Brandt Avatar
    Nancy S. Brandt

    So, I’m a fantasy author starting a new project. I was trying to come up with a good name for my hero and I remembered that I hadn’t read your post about unique baby names. Naturally, as soon as I read Modem, I said, “Hmm. Perhaps this isn’t the place I need for new names.”

    Cute. I love this list!

    By the way, I recently heard of a child whose name was Le-a. People were trying to figure out whether it was Lee-Ah, Le-Aye, Lee, Lay-Ah? Her mother was disgusted. “It’s Le Dash A. The dash don’t be silent.”

    1. Sarah KK Avatar
      Sarah KK

      The “Le-a” thing is an urban myth stemming from a racist joke.

    2. Danielle Avatar
      Danielle

      Yeah, that Le-a joke has been around for years and years.

  7. My brother’s name actually is MacAdam. It’s pronounced Mac-Adam. I sent this to him. He got a kick out of it. I literally Elolled. I know, I know. I cringed as I typed it.

  8. Haven’t seen any Ospreys lately (babies or birds) but a kid born in Scotland last year got the name Ptarmigan.

  9. The sound Hannibal Lecter makes!—Elloel, indeed! The name I say I’m going to give the next child I’m not having is Entropy Radicchio, because it describes the feeling I get that the world is descending into chaos when I see radicchio in my side salad.

  10. Queen Artoeat Avatar
    Queen Artoeat

    When picking a name for the uncomfortable growing bump make sure you try screaming it very loud and it has an attention getting ring! It’s been years since my daughter was a toddler, I love your literary voice and stories. Thank you.

  11. You will probably not believe this, but I actually had an Aunt Tote. My grandmother’s sister. I think her real name was Mary, but she always went by Tote.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *