A Brief Conversation in Which I Sheepishly Ask For Help

ME:  I need you to watch the kid today.  Possibly all day.

HIM:  You hate when I watch him.

ME:  I know, but I feel awful.  I have a fever.  I’m tired and I’m in a lot of pain.  I really need you to do it today.

HIM:  Literally every time I spend a day with the kid you complain about it.

ME: I know, I just–

HIM: Or you go on and on about how he’s whinier after spending the day with me.

ME: I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t rag on you.  I really appreciate those days when you watch him in a pinch.

HIM: I’m obviously happy to watch him.  And he loves spending time with me.

ME: I know he does.

HIM: And it’s not like I’m going to turn him into a horrible human being.

ME: *sigh* I know you’re not.  I just feel weird if you’re watching him for too long.

HIM: Don’t feel weird.  He’ll be fine.  I watched you all the time when you were a kid and you turned out fine.

ME: I know.  I’m sorry.

HIM: I’ve totally got him, go lie down and rest.

ME: Thanks.  Sorry I’m always so conflicted about this.

HIM:  It’s fine.  Parenting is a hard job.

ME:  It is.  I’m sorry I badmouth you sometimes.  Thanks for helping me out when I really need it.

HIM:  Don’t sweat it.  It’s my pleasure.

-conversation I just had with my television set

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If you’d like to either share the piece or follow me on Facebook or Twitter, it always makes my day and my mom will get weirdly excited about it.  I also have a book being released in September called Welcome to the Club: 100 Parenting Milestones You Never Saw Coming.  You can pre-order it on Barnes and Noble, Amazon or Indiebound.  

Thanks again for reading.  Your hair looks fantastic today.