The Ugly Volvo

Why Having a Baby Reminds me of Garfield Minus Garfield

I love the site Garfield Minus Garfield.

If you don’t know the site Garfield minus Garfield  it’s a website run by a guy named Dan Walsh who takes Garfield comic strips and digitally erases Garfield from them.   The reason I love Garfield minus Garfield is that when you erase Garfield from the Garfield comic strip, what you get is three panels of Jon Arbuckle interacting with nothing, looking like a complete lunatic.

That being said, I’ve taken a good long look at my own schedule, and if you were to erase all evidence of my having a baby, nothing I do makes any sense either.

 1.

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If this panel were more true to life I would’ve drawn nine additional people on the sidewalk, all of whom give me weird looks every time I lose my shit over seeing a bus.

 

 2.

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You’re not going to believe this but I WAS BEHIND MY HANDS THE ENTIRE TIME!

 

3.

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 Step 1.  Cut up banana.

 Step 2.  DECLARE BANANAS TO BE DELICIOUS OH MY GOD BANANAS ARE SO DELICIOUS YUM YUM YUM BANANAS!!!!!!!!

 Step 3.  Discard bananas.

 

4.

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OMG WATER

 

5.

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 SERIOUSLY, SOMETIMES I JUST NEED IT TO STOP.

 

6.

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It must look like I’m always watching an invisible play that I really, really love.

 

And finally…

 

7.

 Garfield theuglyvolvo 8

Hope you enjoyed that play-by-play of a bowel movement I just narrated.  I’m not giving away whose poop it was so feel free to let your imagination run wild.

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If you enjoyed this post, sign up in the sidebar to follow the blog, or like The Ugly Volvo on Facebook and be privy to a steady stream of fairly non-offensive baby-related material!  Or follow me on Twitter so that you can wonder why I don’t use my twitter account more often.  (I really do mean to, I just always forget it’s there!)  

And if you’ve never read it, go spend some time checking out Garfield Minus Garfield, which is also wonderful.  If you’ve never checked out the original Garfield comic strip, I will assume you are a baby goat living in a cave in the Himalayas.  How cool for you that you have internet access somehow!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Comments

57 responses to “Why Having a Baby Reminds me of Garfield Minus Garfield”

  1. Hahaha, this is HILARIOUS!!!!!

  2. Mariana Avatar
    Mariana

    OMG, the strip with the bus! How many times I find myself screaming delightedly “A firetruck!” only to realize the kid is not with me…

  3. I can relate to the banana one except I never discard the banana. I just leave it there until the ants eat them.

    1. you are my spirit animal

    2. Bluesabriel Avatar
      Bluesabriel

      My 17 month old daughter ate two pieces of banana the other day and I nearly cried with happiness. Oh, she’ll declare “‘Nana!” when she sees one with such enthusiasm that you’d think they’re her favorite food, but no. This child refuses cut fruit.

  4. I am crying with laughter over this. Brilliant post 🙂

  5. Diana Obando Avatar
    Diana Obando

    “OMG, WATER!”…. jajajajaja… so funny, reminds me and my baby!… Everyday is the same with my dogs… I swear one day he will start talking and will say “MOM, I already know the dogs for a year and a half now, stop showing them to me!”….

    Greetings from the Caribbean, I love your blog! 🙂

    1. Hello from *sigh* New Jersey.

  6. Laughing hysterically in bed quietly so I don’t wake up the baby. This is the best!

  7. YES, this is all totally true!! I often think I must look like a total idiot to passers-by in the street.

  8. I think this is your best post yet! I think it needs to be a weekly recap feature…

    1. agreed, this is gold. OMG WATER.

  9. I now have a bus driver thinking I’m nuts because of the laughter.

  10. Everyone I talk to on the phone thinks I have Tourett’s. There’s an analogy there.

  11. Love this post!! Thanks for the much-needed laugh 🙂

  12. Mine are in K and 1st grade, so I get the baby-erase effect every time I set them loose on a playground. I’m that madwoman on the bench, yelling out warnings to NO ONE AT ALL.

    My favorite is the splashpad. “PULL UP YOUR SWIMSUIT. UP. PULL IT UP.” Could be talking to anybody. Or nobody. But everybody checks their suit.

  13. I am in tears. It was very NSFW, because it’s so obvious I’m not working.

  14. Perfect as always!!! Love it! Clap, clap, clappppppyyyyyy clap!

  15. Sandy Avatar
    Sandy

    I’ve had good luck with the touch and feel books so far, but the writing could use a little umph. Go Dog, Go! sounds a little better actually, but I never get to read a book through, because it’s all about him turning the pages himself. I pretend I’m a machine and read half a line then change when he turns the page. Sometimes, if I read to him from one of my books he gets bored and goes away.

    Alternatively, how do we decide which items in this life to be excited about to the baby? There are millions of things to choose from to point out to a baby, but we always point at fire trucks and squirrels. Why those?

    Look, it’s your daddy’s computer! Why don’t you play with it while he’s over there enjoying a non-children’s book instead of participating in family activities?

  16. hilarious! my kids are older. so sometimes i would be talking too loudly to no one to stop nothing!

  17. That was so funny. Like laugh out loud funny. And that’s rare. Now take away the computer and you just have me sitting here, staring at a wall laughing…

  18. This actually brightened my day 😛

  19. Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed.

  20. That is hilarious! And totally me too!

  21. You’re a RIOT! LOVE IT!!! More, PLEASE, MORE.

  22. That cracked me up…thanks

  23. I don’t have children, but having been a nanny I can completely relate to this. SO FUNNY!

  24. I’m so excited to be following someone who got Freshly Pressed — I feel so “in the know” having already read, liked, and laughed out loud about this post! Congrats, by the way=]

  25. Oh yes, Freshly Pressed!! Good to see your awesomeness being recognised 🙂

  26. That’s a clever comparison. This made me smile.

  27. this is funny… I imagine preschool teachers without students

  28. So sad, but so true. Hilarious!

  29. Hilarious! And so true. I’m quickly forgetting how to interact with other adults. The other day my husband got his hands dirty and I automatically started wiping them down. He says “what are you doing?…” I really didn’t realize that I had even done it until he asked. Haha.

  30. So so funny! I wonder how many people feel the same way

  31. Amazing creativity…said it all and gave us a good dose of laughter…I am following you

  32. If you enjoy this post???? I loved it!
    Cut up banana
    DECLARE BANANAS TO BE DELICIOUS
    Then discard it….. Lol…. Cracked me up

  33. Very funny!!

    I lived one of these early in my parent-life, walking to work (alone). I spotted a cute chubby squirrel and without thinking squealed, “Oooh! There’s a big fat squirrel. What a nice big squirrel!” No kid present. Just a weirdo loving that squirrel…

    1. I’ll be just a weirdo loving this comment, then. Squirrel!

  34. This is awesome hahahaha

  35. Reblogged this on melovemylife and commented:
    This is Good

  36. OMG! Hilarious!

  37. This is so great! It shows the power of animation.

  38. momsranting Avatar
    momsranting

    laughed out loud! Thanks!

  39. very funny…i thought i was going to see you diapering air! lol

  40. Reblogged this on wambuijm2003 and commented:
    mhh

  41. All of the yes.
    And I don’t even have a child.

  42. That had me laughing! Having a baby can seem like weird business

  43. awesome post….

  44. Wow what a brilliant perspective , loved this.

  45. I love that you sing Margaritaville to get your baby back to sleep. I mostly do show tunes, Disney songs, and the occasional Jewel ballad.

  46. Leslie Avatar
    Leslie

    My version of this would be me, surrounded by office colleagues, saying things I should only say with with baby. Like being on a full elevator, pressing the button, and saying “Boop!”

  47. […] You may remember (or probably not) a while back I linked a website called Garfield minus Garfield. Meet the baby version, parents looking cuckoo without their babies. […]

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