The Ugly Volvo

Author: Raquel D’Apice

  • 7 Laps That Make About as Much Sense as Santa’s

    Mall Santas are a weird tradition.  You take your child to a bathhouse of consumerism, wait in a colorful line full of uptight angry people and then pay money so that your son or daughter can sit on Santa’s Lap the lap of an elderly, bearded stranger and (probably) cry. I have never been able to get used…

  • The Word my Son Learned at The American Museum of Natural History

    I take my son to the American Museum of Natural History every month or so because it is an amazing, wonderful museum that is sort of close by.   Yes, there are a few “eh” exhibits that are interchangeable with taking an Ambien (*cough* Felix M. Warburg Hall of  New York State Environment *cough*)  But much of the…

  • Horoscopes For People With Children

    Having kids can be rough, but is it always going to be this rough?  Is it going to get easier in the upcoming months?  Is there something important you should be doing to get your child or children on the right track?  Check out your horoscope and find out what the stars have in store…

  • Baby’s First Halloween: Is there something I missed?

    It’s your baby’s first Halloween, and if there’s one thing cuter than an adorable baby, it’s an adorable baby wearing an adorable costume.  If you think a photo of your 8-month-old in her bouncer got a lot of Facebook likes, get a load of what happens when you dress her up as a strawberry.  Think…

  • The Evolution of My (And Possibly Your) Feelings About Nine-Year-Olds

    We all have opinions about nine-year-olds and these opinions depend on a number of factors. Are we related to these nine-year-olds?  Are they eating next to us in a restaurant?  Are they sitting directly behind us in an enclosed train car loudly scrolling through some ringtone app on their smartphone, exclaiming, “Ooooh ooh ooh, they’ve…

  • Reasonably Good Advice Written on Bananas

    My mother used to write on my bananas.  It is one of those weird things I remember about my school lunches.  I remember that she would always pack me a Red Delicious apple (which I would promptly throw in the garbage because Red Delicious apples taste, if I am being generous, like damp cardboard) and I…

  • 10 Innovative (and Delicious) Healthy Snack Ideas for Children!

    I bought a new product the other day called “Motts for Tots,” which turned out to be more or less watered down apple juice.  (And by “more or less watered down apple juice,” I mean “It was watered down apple juice.”)  It was the same price as the regular apple juice. So at first I…

  • The Seven Things I Can’t Stop Noticing Whenever I Read “Knuffle Bunny.”

    I have read the book Knuffle Bunny several hundred times.  Maybe several thousand.  I stopped counting. I still enjoy it.  I still think it is a wonderful book.  If I am forced to read any of my son’s books over and over again, I am happy he has chosen that one. That being said, reading any…

  • If I Worked For Google, This is What I’d Invent

    I had a post a few months ago about how I was sort of worried that my son wasn’t walking yet.  In case anyone is keeping track, he started walking about two weeks ago and never looked back.  Which is why I’d love to see the people at Google get to work on a special…

  • What All The Other Parents Are Doing During The Day

    The first few months staying home with my kid were hard because being alone all the time is rough.  And people would point out, “But you’re not alone!  You have that baby!” except that having a baby is not the same thing as having another adult person around with whom you can have an actual conversation.  You…