The Ugly Volvo

A Breakdown of your Child’s Eating Patterns

(Click graphs to enlarge.)

*               *               *

SEVEN STARS FARM ORGANIC PLAIN WHOLE MILK YOGURT

yogurt two

*               *               *

ORGANIC ROASTED BEETS

pie chart roasted beets

*               *               *

TRADER JOE’S BRAND CHEERIOS

cheerios three

*               *               *

PEAS FROM LOCAL FARMER’S MARKET (ALSO ORGANIC)

peas three

*               *               *

WHATEVER YOU WERE EATING

pie chart whatevetr you were eating

*               *               *

COOKIE/CUPCAKE/CHOCOLATE/ANYTHING CONTAINING REFINED SUGAR

pie chart cookie

*          *          *

If you would like to receive updates on posts you can “like” The Ugly Volvo on Facebook or follow the blog by clicking the ‘follow blog” button in the sidebar.  

Or we can just hang out down here in italics underneath the post!  It’s not bad down here, right?  Keep warm!  Unless you’re reading in a warm weather climate– then keep cool.  Unless you’re in a warm weather climate but you also have low blood pressure or something else that’s making you cold all the time in which case just do what feels best for you.

  

Comments

34 responses to “A Breakdown of your Child’s Eating Patterns”

  1. ksbeth Avatar
    ksbeth

    i love this so much ) beth

    Reply
  2. Harry Avatar
    Harry

    Welcome to the wonderful world of feeding baby!

    Reply
  3. Julie Avatar
    Julie

    I love this blog so much.
    Reading this at work (day 4 of being back after 1 year of maternity leave) and I feel like I’m back home.

    Reply
  4. themathmaster Avatar
    themathmaster

    If ever the truth was written, this is it right here.

    Reply
  5. Aubrey Avatar
    Aubrey

    Heehee. Yup.

    Reply
  6. The CoutureWithACause.com Blog Avatar
    The CoutureWithACause.com Blog

    Absolutely brilliant!!! Love all your posts, read every last one of your blogs. I’m a mother of 4 kids…the 18year old acts like your baby, so I’m still your demographic!! Lol

    Raechel Taylor Founder, Social Order http://www.SocialOrderMedia.com Branding and Marketing for the Restaurant & Hospitality Industry

    Ph | 310.699.4900 Fx | 310.496. 1491 Sk | taylor.cdo Tw | mssocialorder Li | raechelTaylor

    Sent from my iPhone. It misspells to imbearasse mee. Pleaze eggskyooz typos.

    >

    Reply
  7. JO Avatar
    JO

    One for my daughter that could be added: How much of the expensive organic yogurt she fills her mouth with storing in her cheeks like a chipmunk, and then motorboating in mommy’s face blowing it everywhere. Apparently if you ask her, it’s hilarious.

    Reply
  8. Fiona Flores Watson Avatar
    Fiona Flores Watson

    Another chuckle-some post to cheer up my crappy Tuesday, thanks! You rock, girl (and baby)!

    Reply
  9. T. Dawn Avatar
    T. Dawn

    This is so creatively funny… And so very true with a little one. My little guy will come flying towards me with the quickness if he sees me even go near the “junk drawer”.

    Reply
  10. Jojo Avatar
    Jojo

    Weeing

    Reply
  11. Lenora Avatar
    Lenora

    I take time no matter what I am doing to read these because they are so funny. My kids are long grown (well, let’s say I am no longer feeding them with a spoon) but these days are unforgettable. Thanks for making them so fun to remember.

    Reply
  12. pensitivity101 Avatar
    pensitivity101

    Excellent! I can so identify with the cookies and the dog….. my niece loved cheesy puff crisps, would squish them in her fist and then either shove them up the dog’s nose, or her own! Lovely!!

    Reply
  13. d_girl Avatar
    d_girl

    There is a long list of foods I refuse to feed my 2 yo if she’s wearing an outfit I like: beets, blueberries, raspberries, strawberries (any berry will end up sqished by child and sat upon, sometimes also licked but not always, dog addicted to strawberries but has skin allergy), gravey, ketchup, tomato sauce, etc. of course she adores all these foods (except berries which have a variable acceptance rate). I gave up on cheerios.
    Love your blogs.

    Reply
  14. Ferreted Heart Avatar
    Ferreted Heart

    I must be blessed. My baby eats everything I give her. 70% of the stuff is mashed and/or pureed foods that she devours. The other is stuff she eats on her own like bread, fruit, puffs, chicken, cheese, turkey, and Cheerios. She LOVES Cheerios. I’ll give her a handful in her playpen and she’ll eat them all, even get on all fours and look under all her toys until she’s eaten them all. I even saw her look under her leg at one point. I have a piglet on my hands. That said, I’m sure I’ll have my hands full when she’s a toddler. The reckoning is coming, I’m just not sure when.

    Reply
  15. Jennifer Avatar
    Jennifer

    How true this is. My daughter acts like she is STARVING then flings food everywhere, feeds the dog, sticks her fingers in it then up her nose , in her hair then tries to feed it back to me. As soon as my husband and I get out the ice cream she runs to us with her mouth open like a baby bird doing MORE in sign language!
    She’s no dummy…

    Reply
  16. atelieroursonne Avatar
    atelieroursonne

    Now I want another one 🙂

    Reply
  17. kreiss1 Avatar
    kreiss1

    Thanks for consistently reminding us all that we’re not alone!

    Reply
  18. Jaymie Avatar
    Jaymie

    Omg, thank you for this. The most interest in food my kid has shown is in french fries that we put almost out of reach like she wasn’t supposed to have them!

    Reply
  19. Heather Avatar
    Heather

    My son is a month younger, and I consistently read this blog as a harbinger of future destruction. Absolutely tone true. Thanks to you I can laugh twice!

    Reply
  20. sarah cottrell Avatar
    sarah cottrell

    That is some funny truth.

    Reply
  21. jethrien Avatar
    jethrien

    I’d add a category to “whatever you were eating”–at least 10% is forcefed back to me. He particularly likes shoving whole fruit in the vague direction of my mouth, or awkwardly tipping cups at my face. (My kid’s almost the exact same age.)

    Reply
  22. keepingupwiththefrench Avatar
    keepingupwiththefrench

    Hilarious!

    Reply
  23. Liz Avatar
    Liz

    Truth! I’d have to add a chart for my daughter labeled “inedible.” For a time she was fond of eating rug threads the cat pulled up. Team effort!

    Reply
    1. bluesabriel Avatar
      bluesabriel

      I’m 99% sure my daughter also ate a rug thread a cat pulled up last night, based on the expressions on her face as I ran toward her yelling “WHAT DID YOU EAT?!”. By the time I got to her, it was gone, and she happily crawled away. ::sigh:: But the tasty mango chunks on her high chair tray? Squished, then thrown away.

      Reply
  24. Sincerely Kate Avatar
    Sincerely Kate

    Congratulations— I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award! Please check out my latest blog for more details! http://sincerelykaterz.wordpress.com/2014/01/13/this-labyrinth-i-roam/

    Reply
  25. bluesabriel Avatar
    bluesabriel

    I wish my 11-month-old consumed as much as your child does in these charts. Our charts for finger foods right now are mostly “mushed on tray”, “dropped”, “touch to lips then put back on tray while laughing”, “stared at suspiciously”, and, finally “thrown away”.

    Unless it is a Gerber Puff. Or looks like a Gerber Puff. Then she’ll eat them all and excitedly sign “more” in and endless loop.

    Reply
  26. Curiosity Avatar
    Curiosity

    Your writing never fails to make me laugh. Figured it was about time I transitioned from creepy lurking stalker to creepy lurking known reader.

    Reply
    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      I’m so glad we could take this important step together.

      Reply
      1. Curiosity Avatar
        Curiosity

        Indeed.

        Reply
  27. lizzieparsnips Avatar
    lizzieparsnips

    My baby ate a crayon today – I immediately thought of you and your blog. Loving your take on parenthood.

    Reply
  28. klrkatsmeow Avatar
    klrkatsmeow

    Love it! My 1 year old will usually eat anything- this includes having a meltdown when I won’t share my food with him promptly after I finish feeding him lunch. And the Cheerios- I swear he throws half of them on the floor for purpose of eating them later during playtime.

    Reply
    1. Alex Avatar
      Alex

      I feel like I have to share something…. When I was about 8-9 years old, I liked eating Bake Rolls off the floor. I don’t know why. As soon as my mom came back from the store, I would take them to my room, throw a handful on the floor and eat them off, pretending I was a dog. My mom even caught me in the act one day, stayed there looking at me silently for a moment, then proceeded to roll her eyes as she walk out my room and closed the door behind her.

      Reply
  29. A Morning Grouch Avatar
    A Morning Grouch

    I believe ANYTHING left on the floor will be eaten the next day (or week?) by the toddler, refined sugar or not!

    Reply
  30. Melissa Avatar
    Melissa

    Oh ha ha ha! Bless you, I suddenly feel as if my child might actually make it to adulthood.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *