The Ugly Volvo

A Valentine From Your Toddler (Interpreted)

February 14th is right around the corner.  Didn’t get a valentine from your kiddo because he’s too young to give you one?  That’s what you think.  Using a little imagination (and sometimes a pair of scissors), you’ll realize that he’s been leaving you valentines for months.  Here are just a few of them, interpreted for you.

Valentines day theuglyvolvo 1
Created during his blue period, which lasted from 10 until 10:16 this morning.

 

 Happy Valentine’s Day to Someone Who Means the World to Me

Valentines day theuglyvolvo 2

“I love you.  I love you and this light pink scribble on a piece of computer paper will never fully convey how my soul comes alive when you hold me and attempt to comb dried oatmeal and crushed pieces of apple out of my hair.  I love seeing your face when you walk into my bedroom every morning.  I never care if you have messy hair and terrible breath.  I always think you are amazing.  You are my favorite person in the entire world.”

 *          *          *

valentines day theuglyvolvo 3

“I love that you teach me things.  Remember the other day when you tried to teach me how to hold a bunch of crayons at the same time so that it would make a rainbow, and instead I insisted on collecting all the blue crayons in my fist and stabbing them into the paper like some lunatic relaying a message in morse code?  I loved that.  I had such a great time coloring with you.  So much so that– you remember that frog sticker that was stuck to the inside of my thigh for two days?  I want you to have it.”

Yes, really.

  *          *          *

valentines day theuglyvolvo 4

“Sometimes, and I know you have mixed feelings about this, my love transcends the piece of paper that you have insisted I color on.  There are times when I am  overcome with and overwhelmed by how happy I am to be alive and to be near you.  And then, yes, I will draw on the table a little.  It is my hand that draws but it is my heart that moves it.  And you say something like, “Stop it, not on the table,” but I know what you mean is WE ARE KINDRED SPIRITS SHARING A SOUL.  You are the counterpart to a bunch of literary characters that I will probably read about in high school.  You smile and my heart swells with joy.

 *          *          *

valentines day theuglyvolvo 5

There are times when I leave the drawing table altogether.  How could I ever thank you for all you have done for me??  For giving me life?  For feeding and loving me and rocking me to sleep when I am tired or restless?  For selflessly putting my needs above your own???  Do you think I have not noticed??  Do you even understand the love that I have for you?  One can barely express it on a windowsill with a purple crayon while you are not looking.

  *          *          *

valentines day theuglyvolvo 6

“I can hear your heart-warming, melodious voice chanting, “ON PAPER.  WE COLOR ON PAPER,” as you lovingly (though with quite a bit of force) pull the crayon from my hand.  It is fine.  I have others in my pocket.  But a door seemed the perfect metaphor for all the doors you have opened for me and I have tried to express that here.  Now you will think of me always as you enter the bathroom as I think of you every waking minute of my life.

  *          *          *

valentines day theuglyvolvo 7

I love that you read to me.  Both the wonderful classic stories I take in while sitting nestled on your lap and also this short book about Clifford as a baby which I think maybe we got at a garage sale?  I have tried here to highlight one of my favorite parts.

Have I mentioned that you are my everything?

  *          *          *

valentines day toddler the ugly volvo interpreted

There are times when crayons alone are ineffective in conveying my feelings and I feel called to make a statement in a stronger, more pungent medium.  I. Love. You.  Did you hear that?  No?  Did you smell it?  I think about you every hour of every day and I want nothing more than to snuggle myself lovingly into your senses– to make a statement so bold and extreme that you are forced to tie it up in a plastic bag and put it outside the front door so that it doesn’t stink up the entire apartment.

 *          *          *

valentines day theuglyvo9lvo 8

 

 

Words are tricky.  I have not yet mastered the intricacies of spoken language.  I get caught up in the heat of the moment and while what I’m trying to shout is “I love you with my entire being.  Everything I will become someday is, in part, because you cared for me,” what somehow comes out is, “TV!  Dumbo!  Turn on TV watch Dumbo!

I love you.  Do you hear me?  I love you more than I could possibly express.  It’s been a long road already and we have a far longer stretch ahead of us but I am excited to walk it (together) with you as my guide.   And my sherpa.  But always remember that a small piece of your heart beats inside my chest.  That we will always be, in a sense, one.  That while we live in separate bodies, we share a soul.  And also, while you are up, if you could turn on Dumbo that would be great.

*          *          *

If you enjoyed this post, like The Ugly Volvo on Facebook or follow me on Twitter.  If you didn’t like it I guess you always have the option of hate-following me on Facebook, if that’s a thing you’re into doing.  Also, has anybody seen Black Mirror?  Crazy, right?  But not as crazy as the photos in this post refusing to #*&%ing center no matter how many times I adjusted them.  *sigh* Also, happy Valentine’s day.


Comments

27 responses to “A Valentine From Your Toddler (Interpreted)”

  1. My kids are LONG past toddler age and this brought it all flooding back. This is hysterical and true and made me smile now that my kids draw on paper, and write on computers, and read books all by themselves.

  2. I love your posts. I’m going to be a grandmother in about 6 months and I look forward to my daughter receiving the same kind of wonderful Valentines that she left for me.

  3. It bursts my heart to know there are moms still willing to take on the joys and challenges of birth-5. Long may you reign. (and I like your font!!) Onward.

  4. dumbo is the best.

  5. I love this, my girls are 11&15 so we don’t get this anymore, but earlier I was talking to my nephew who has a 2 year old son and he was complaining about his son drawing on all the walls…I took great delight in reminding him that he did exactly the same thing when he was that age. Like Father like son…..I didn’t hear from my nephew I’m told he’s curled up in a ball sobbing his heart out saying why me over and over lol

  6. utterly brilliant.

  7. thank you you always make me laugh. XXX Happy valentines to you.

  8. This looks like my sister’s home, toddlers! haha. Loved the post!

  9. I feel you on the “Dumbo” love. My son went through a similar obsession with that movie. He’s since moved on to new movie/show obsessions… And one of these days, I may get that opening train song out of my head…

    1. I can't decide Avatar
      I can’t decide

      We’re all about Finding Nemo right now.

  10. bluesabriel Avatar
    bluesabriel

    Did you know rubbing alcohol is great for getting crayon off everything? I do, now! I feel kind of bad about erasing it now, though. I didn’t know I was getting such deep, thoughtful love notes!

  11. Oh my goodness, I laughed through this whole post. I love this! I never realized all those single-pen-mark-on-a-sheet-of-paper were really love notes!:)

  12. You have a lot of love in your life! Our toddler expressed his deep love for his father by scribble “writing”…with a rock…on his Dad’s new truck… “I Love You”…across the entire side door panel. Lucky for me he is a daddy’s boy and MY “I love you” rock scribble was much smaller on my car. (and yes my husband is horrible at supervising toddlers…obviously)

    1. I can't decide Avatar
      I can’t decide

      Ouch!

  13. That was awesome. My toddler made me a valentine this morning. On his teeth. When he snacked on his crayon while I was busy with his sister. It was adorable.

  14. Haha. This is a riot. I have no children but this reminds me so much of my friends children

  15. caroline seguin Avatar
    caroline seguin

    That was very sweet! It made me laugh and remember that my toddler also said “I love you” with a rock on her daddy’s new car. Nice smiley’s face 🙂 lol

  16. You write so well!! Your posts are always a pleasure. Thank you for making me realize the diaper-busters of the past weekend were full of love! 🙂

  17. I’m seeing the pencil scribbles all over the fridge door in a whole new light.

  18. Keep the crayon! It’s a personal touch that ells a story of your family. Just let your kids write on the walls forever and you’ll end up with some seriously unique room art!

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      our house is a museum of seriously unique room art at this point 😉

  19. I would be laughing out loud, but my two little girls are playing nicely in the next room, and I don’t want to remind them of my presence (which they’ve forgotten for the moment). So instead, I’m sitting at the crumb-covered breakfast table, shaking with suppressed laughter and with tears welling up. So so so funny. You had me at ‘blue period.’ Sigh. I need a nap.

  20. My husband found your website for me and I am forever indebted. You are hysterical!

  21. Absolutely hilarious. Crying tears of laughter. Keep up your sarcasm, it’s truly wonderful.

  22. I love reading your blog, keep writing. Hi all! Greetings from Malaysia

    1. theuglyvolvo Avatar
      theuglyvolvo

      Hi! Thanks! I only know one other person in Malaysia so you’re my big #2. Greetings back 🙂

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