The Seven Things I Can’t Stop Noticing Whenever I Read “Knuffle Bunny.”

I have read the book Knuffle Bunny several hundred times.  Maybe several thousand.  I stopped counting.

I still enjoy it.  I still think it is a wonderful book.  If I am forced to read any of my son’s books over and over again, I am happy he has chosen that one.

That being said, reading any book that many times will make your mind start to wander.  Here are the things I started noticing after about the 600th read.


1. I can’t stop looking at how weird the mom’s boobs are.

I’m sorry.  I feel weird that this is a thing I notice every time I read this book because I am not an eleven-year-old boy*, but I cannot look at Trixie’s mom without wondering if someone sawed a tennis ball in half and then glued it to the inside of her shirt.    Every picture that features her in some sort of form fitting T-shirt makes it look like she is shoplifting two muffins.

 *     *     *

2.  The fact that the dad walks to the laundromat carrying the dirty clothes in a laundry basket instead of a bag.

knuffle basket

In the last decade and a half I have seen people carrying a laundry basket to a laundromat exactly zero times.  Everyone I see brings their laundry to the laundromat in giant, ratty drawstring bags, lugging them over their shoulders like a wave of sad, decrepit Santa Claus impersonators.  That being said, I can see why that would be less whimsical to illustrate.

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3.  “Through the Park”

knuffle park

“[Trixie and her daddy walked] through the park.”

ARE THERE NO CLOSER LAUNDROMATS?  Park slope has laundromats all over the place– what is so great about this one that they are walking all the way through the park to get to it?  This makes me want to go on a walking tour of Trixie’s dad’s errands (I would seriously go on this if it existed) so that the guide will explain why this laundromat is so hands-down-amazing ($2 hour-long massages!  Free candy!  Admission to Hogwarts!) that you will walk to an entirely different  neighborhood to get to it.

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4.  This Thing

knuffle discman

WHAT IS THIS THING?   I’ve never seen a semi-circular Walkman, Discman or MP3 player so give it up for the guy in purple marching band pants who walks around with his earphones plugged into a taco.

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knuffle feet

Yes, I get that he is a cartoon, but this guy is lugging around a big-boned frame on feet that are literally smaller than his ears. How on earth can I focus on Trixie’s six arms when a man with the physique of a jukebox is balancing his weight on feet the size of seashells?

*     *     *


knuffle ooh snap

I always think this thing is a nosy neighbor spying on everyone, going, “Ooooooh!  Oh, snap!  Where IS Knuffle Bunny??” but it’s not, it’s just trees or something.  Or maybe it is a person?  I think I wrote this whole entry just to see if anyone else sees this thing and thinks the same thing or if (as I suspect) I am completely alone.

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7.  Trixie’s dad is like the all time worst at looking for things.

knuffle looking

“Trixie’s daddy looked for Knuffle bunny.  And looked.  And looked.  And looked.”

Every time I get to this page I get a little incredulous that this guy couldn’t find a stuffed animal in a clothes dryer on the first four tries but really, if I’m going to be that judgemental of absentminded people, maybe I can turn the lens on myself for a moment and remember that time I was so completely exhausted from having a newborn that I stood on the bottom stair of a subway staircase for almost fifteen seconds before I realized that I had stepped on to the staircase rather than, as I had intended, the escalator.

*          *          *

*I lied.  I have been an 11-year-old boy this whole time.

** I didn’t put up a picture of Trixie’s mom’s boobs because doing that felt too weird.  I am sorry!

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Knuffle Bunny: A Cautionary Tale

And if you’re like “whatever, I already own a copy of Knuffle Bunny,”  buy some Chuck Palahniuk book and read it in a really high-up funny voice, and honestly, your kid will probably love that too.

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