The Seven Things I Can’t Stop Noticing Whenever I Read “Knuffle Bunny.”

I have read the book Knuffle Bunny several hundred times.  Maybe several thousand.  I stopped counting.

I still enjoy it.  I still think it is a wonderful book.  If I am forced to read any of my son’s books over and over again, I am happy he has chosen that one.

That being said, reading any book that many times will make your mind start to wander.  Here are the things I started noticing after about the 600th read.

 

1. I can’t stop looking at how weird the mom’s boobs are.

I’m sorry.  I feel weird that this is a thing I notice every time I read this book because I am not an eleven-year-old boy*, but I cannot look at Trixie’s mom without wondering if someone sawed a tennis ball in half and then glued it to the inside of her shirt.    Every picture that features her in some sort of form fitting T-shirt makes it look like she is shoplifting two muffins.

 *     *     *

2.  The fact that the dad walks to the laundromat carrying the dirty clothes in a laundry basket instead of a bag.

knuffle basket

In the last decade and a half I have seen people carrying a laundry basket to a laundromat exactly zero times.  Everyone I see brings their laundry to the laundromat in giant, ratty drawstring bags, lugging them over their shoulders like a wave of sad, decrepit Santa Claus impersonators.  That being said, I can see why that would be less whimsical to illustrate.

*     *     *

3.  “Through the Park”

knuffle park

“[Trixie and her daddy walked] through the park.”

ARE THERE NO CLOSER LAUNDROMATS?  Park slope has laundromats all over the place– what is so great about this one that they are walking all the way through the park to get to it?  This makes me want to go on a walking tour of Trixie’s dad’s errands (I would seriously go on this if it existed) so that the guide will explain why this laundromat is so hands-down-amazing ($2 hour-long massages!  Free candy!  Admission to Hogwarts!) that you will walk to an entirely different  neighborhood to get to it.

*     *     *

4.  This Thing

knuffle discman

WHAT IS THIS THING?   I’ve never seen a semi-circular Walkman, Discman or MP3 player so give it up for the guy in purple marching band pants who walks around with his earphones plugged into a taco.

*     *     *

5.  THIS MAN’S FEET ARE TOO TINY

knuffle feet

Yes, I get that he is a cartoon, but this guy is lugging around a big-boned frame on feet that are literally smaller than his ears. How on earth can I focus on Trixie’s six arms when a man with the physique of a jukebox is balancing his weight on feet the size of seashells?

*     *     *

6.  I ALWAYS THINK THIS THING IS A PERSON.

knuffle ooh snap

I always think this thing is a nosy neighbor spying on everyone, going, “Ooooooh!  Oh, snap!  Where IS Knuffle Bunny??” but it’s not, it’s just trees or something.  Or maybe it is a person?  I think I wrote this whole entry just to see if anyone else sees this thing and thinks the same thing or if (as I suspect) I am completely alone.

*     *     *

7.  Trixie’s dad is like the all time worst at looking for things.

knuffle looking

“Trixie’s daddy looked for Knuffle bunny.  And looked.  And looked.  And looked.”

Every time I get to this page I get a little incredulous that this guy couldn’t find a stuffed animal in a clothes dryer on the first four tries but really, if I’m going to be that judgemental of absentminded people, maybe I can turn the lens on myself for a moment and remember that time I was so completely exhausted from having a newborn that I stood on the bottom stair of a subway staircase for almost fifteen seconds before I realized that I had stepped on to the staircase rather than, as I had intended, the escalator.

*          *          *

*I lied.  I have been an 11-year-old boy this whole time.

** I didn’t put up a picture of Trixie’s mom’s boobs because doing that felt too weird.  I am sorry!

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to follow the blog by signing up in the sidebar, or follow The Ugly Volvo on Facebook or Twitter.   If you have somehow never read Knuffle Bunny, you can buy it by clicking the link below if you’re into that sort of thing.

 

Knuffle Bunny: A Cautionary Tale

And if you’re like “whatever, I already own a copy of Knuffle Bunny,”  buy some Chuck Palahniuk book and read it in a really high-up funny voice, and honestly, your kid will probably love that too.

41 Comments

  1. That thing in the background is MOST DEFINITELY a person, and if not, what is it? Either way I don’t like it. Thank you for writing this! I feel less alone now, but still entirely creeped out by it.

  2. Avatar

    cynthia meyerhoefer

    You always make me laugh. Although I have no small children, I do recall have similar reactions to their books.

    BTW, maybe the illustrator has seen too many women with boob jobs and thinks that is the way the look.

    • Have you read the next two books?? Check out Trixie’s mom’s hair and boobs. You know, not in a creepy way, but in a “this-is-for-research way”.

  3. I completely relate to this staircase / escalator story, I so could have done the same thing!! Thanks for always putting the right words on real-life motherhood situations!

  4. Tree definitely looks like a guy standing there. I found a book a while back that I used to read to my kids and reading through it 20+ years later was such a trip. Made me laugh and cry. Don’t lose Knuffle Bunny.

  5. My husband would totally look everywhere in the laundromat and not find Knuffle Bunny. Then he would come home and announce the stuffed animal could not be found ANYWHERE and I would have to walk all the way across the park to that amazing laundromat and I would find it in 30 seconds. So that part I find very realistic.

    • I completely agree! I only find it amazing that the Mom didn’t sigh and step in to find it after the 2nd try :)

  6. Avatar

    Ruth redfern

    Oh, but you did put up a picture of Trixie’s mothers boobs. On the last page in the laundromat! BTW, my kids are in their 50s and my grandchildren are in their 20s and I still can relate to your postings!!!

  7. I’ve been meaning to buy this book for ages – my boys love Mo Willems’ pigeon series, and they are so funny we don’t mind reading them so much.

    My overwhelming need (I nearly used the word “desire”, luckily I didn’t) to now see the mum’s breasts has now made me order it. Hopefully they’ll deliver it in a brown paper bag for me.

    Thanks! ;)

  8. Avatar

    Linda Smith

    You are the best! Your blog makes me laugh, enjoy your perspective, and appreciate your humor. Thanks so much!!

  9. I agree with all of these … Except the park one. They HAD to walk through the park because:
    1) kids love walking through parks. They get to chase pigeons, pick up half eaten sausages near barbecue areas, beg their parents to get on the swings and chase pigeons.
    2) the laundromat on the other side of the park CLEARLY needs customers and this dad is socially aware enough to recognise that.
    BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, …
    3) if they hadn’t walked through the park, we wouldn’t have seen the cute dachshund. Awwww …

    Mo Willems ROCKS.

  10. #6: yep totally see a person too! It looks like a man sitting on the balcony.

  11. A guy I used to work with had tiny feet. His feet were probably a bit smaller than mine, and he was at least half a foot taller. They didn’t seem to cause him any problems, but he once wore some heels around the office for a $20 bet.

    • Also, the parks around here are seldom more than a block wide and are often located in the middle of neighborhoods.

  12. This is amazing- those boobs are totally weird-Thanks a lot- i will never NOT notice them again!!!

  13. Oh, my. I cried I was laughing so hard at this. Thank you!

  14. As always, this made me legit laugh out loud. (LLOL? Do kids these days say that?) Also, your posts in general reassure me that I’m not the only one who spends most of the day just hanging out with my kid and who only eats weird assortments of finger food, so THANK YOU. You are my parenting humor blog idol.

  15. Thanks again for the smiles I can’t help but crack when reading your blogs. Its a nice ending to my day with a two year old ;)

  16. Well now I have a few new things to think about while reading Knuffle Bunny. But yeah the boobs, the boobs! What is wrong with her? She obviously did not beast feed Trixie.

    As for Trixie’s daddy bring the worst at looking for things, well, I think my husband would beast him. In or house I call it the “man look.” Did you look look for xyz, or did you man look? Because once I look look, I find it 90 percent of the time within the first minute. So have always thought Trixie’s daddy is just a typical guy doing the man look. I am always impressed he keeps looking instead of immediately giving up and having Trixie’s mom look instead.

  17. Typos typos! Autocorrect hates me. But beast feed is totally getting added to my vocabulary because it fits my son perfectly.

  18. Never read this children’s book, but your post made me laugh so much! Especially the guy with the tiny feet! Loved your observations!

  19. Avatar

    Wildflowersp

    I always questioned the wisdom of the bunny in Goodnight Moon having pet kittens.

    *if we ended up with a kid book I didn’t like I got rid of it immediately.

    • Avatar

      theuglyvolvo

      I also totally get rid of the ones I don’t like. Usually within a day.

  20. As a pre-k teacher I see your several thousand reads and raise you a zero on the end! I agree about most of your facts and personally have wondered how trixie’s dad’s ‘multiple machines’ worth of laundry all fit into said basket.
    To defend my beloved Mo, Trixie’s dad eventually found knifelike bunny, not in the myriad dryers of clothes (that all fit in one basket), but in the running washer, which is:
    A- where he showed it on the page before they left the laundromat
    B- why it’s all drippy when trixie yells “KNUFFLE BUNNY”. I’m glad they left out the epilogue where trixie takes boneless to hyper drive when they have to take Bunny away to dry him!!

    Thank you for this post! It’s good to find validation for my brand of wacky!

  21. That is definitely a woman standing behind the shubbery. I wonder if it is his mother, neighbor or some bitchy person who is ticked that they have to walk that far to the laundry. That’s what I would wonder. But then, you didn’t ask. :)

  22. The park thing has me especially baffled because I’m familiar with the neighborhood the Knuffle Bunny trilogy takes place in and going through the Park, as best as I can figure it, is a major detour.

    • Avatar

      theuglyvolvo

      it is a HUGE park. I cannot imagine anyone going all the way through that park to get to a laundromat

  23. This is a great post. Thanks.

    Looking at my sad excuse for dinner tonight (no wife or kid, so I’m slumming it), I think purple-pants has headphones plugged into a Pillsbury Pizza pop, not a taco. And, now, every time I read this to my daughter, I’m going be wondering if that is a creep in serious camouflage. You’re not alone – I totally see the shape of a person.

  24. The thing that annoyed me about that book (which my first kid loved and about which my second set–twins–were lukewarm was the layout. The father is searching, searching and on the facing page he finds the thing. Why not cough up the extra money so that the reveal is after you turn the page, so there’s some suspense?

    • Avatar

      theuglyvolvo

      I love you for saying this. I literally bend the page backward so my son can’t see it when I read it to him.

  25. OMG hysterical. We discovered this book a few years ago when my oldest son had a strange fascination with washing machines. He tore the darn thing to pieces but still tries to read it.

  26. That is a person. My question is: “Why is does that person wear goggles for topiary?” It’s a genuine question – I don’t know much about topiary.

  27. I loved when this one was in the obsession queue. So much better than some others (I’m looking at you Dora and the Easter Egg Hunt, which she was obsessed with all winter until about a week before Easter). I also looked askance at the open laundry basket. Who does that? But I never noticed the park, the mom’s odd rack, or the sinister shrub. Thanks! Sort of!

  28. The weird shrubbery behind the railing looks not just like a person, but like a convict rattling the bars of his cell with a tin mug. PS. I want an i-Taco.

  29. I nominated you for the Sisterhood of The World Bloggers Award! I love how honest and funny your writing is. xx http://bearandbicycle.wordpress.com/2014/08/12/sisterhood-of-the-world-bloggers-award/

  30. I TOTALLY AGREE with you about the mom’s boobs.
    Also, I have joked before that this book should be called “Mommy and Daddy make $200k a year but have to wash their clothes at a laundromat because BROOKLYN.”

  31. Not only is that “tree thing” a person (in my mind), but he’s drinking coffee and keeps things in….cages.

  32. I needed some fun tonight. Thank you.

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