Of all the many things you’ll give your child over his or her lifetime, the first is one of the most lasting– their name.  So many parents spend hours trying to find a perfect, unique name, only to find that by the time their child is a toddler, the once-perfect name has become ubiquitous.  If you’re one of those parents looking for something standout but familiar, take notes!  The list below includes some adorable, often gender-neutral baby names that, much like your child, are completely and totally one-of-a-kind.

 

1.Modem

A beautiful, simple name for parents working in the tech sector or for any parent who draws inspiration from items hastily pushed to the side of his or her desktop.  For a rough-and-tumble set of twins, Modem matches beautifully with the equally gender neutral name Router—another computer-inspired name with a classic Germanic feel.

2.  Uniqlo

A super cute name for those who don’t want their child to feel tied to his or her gender.  Regardless of what you’re having, Uniqlo is a beautiful, unique name for a boy or a girl or also, theoretically, a Japanese clothing store.

3. Elloel

A jubilant song of a name, Elloel is a version of the online abbreviation LOL spelled out in a way that makes it seem a little bit French, particularly if you always say it with a French accent, which we strongly recommend you attempt.

4. Guelph

A name with an earthy, woodland feel, Guelph is both an inspired, elven-style name for a newborn and a mid-sized Canadian city with low crime rates, clean environment and generally high standard of living.   Guelph (the city, not your potential newborn) has been noted as having one of the lowest unemployment rates in the country throughout the 2008–2012 global recession and has ranked at the bottom of Canada’s crime severity list since 2007.

5. Zeppole

Beautiful, classic name with Italian roots.  Perfect for those babies constantly being told, “You’re so cute, I could just eat you up!”

6. Macadam

Looking for a name that implies strength and firmness?  Macadam, in addition to being a popular type of road covering in which compacted layers of broken stone are bound with bitumen or tar, is also a lovely, Scottish-sounding name that you can give to your daughter if you just totally can’t come up with anything.

7. Tote

Cute and rugged name that’s perfect for a boy or a girl.  The ideal name for something sort of grungy and unwashed that you bring literally everywhere with you.  Particularly fitting if you conceived your child after donating $60 to NPR.

8. Osprey

Following in the trend of sweet bird-themed names like Wren and Robin, Osprey is just coming to light as a name whose popularity is on the rise.   If you’re longing for an avian-themed newborn but this isn’t quite what you’re looking for, the list of bird-themed gender neutral names is wonderfully expansive and includes Sparrow, Finch, Plover, Emperor Penguin (Kim K strongly considered for her second child!), Spoonbill, Boat-Tailed Grackle and Northern Goshawk.

9. That Noise Anthony Hopkins Makes After He Talks About Eating That Guy’s Liver With the Fava Beans and a Nice Chianti

While an unconventional and bold choice, picking this name means looking forward to a lifetime of your child’s name being called out loud for public events.  Piano recitals.  High school graduations.  Anywhere your child’s name is being read out loud, some adult at a podium is being required to make this noise which, if you haven’t seen the movie, sort of sounds like a very evil person slurping Jell-O for a long time.

10. The Sound Computers Used to Make When Dialup Connected to AOL

Want to raise an outstanding human being?  Any child with this name will do amazing things because they’ll have to work literally twice as hard to prove (to themselves and the numerous people who made fun of them in elementary school) that they are more than just a ridiculous, unique name.  I guarantee that this child will exceed everyone’s expectations.  Give us about four decades before we broadcast the words: Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present the next president of the United States—Mrs. Brief dial tone leading into sound of buttons being dialed—high pitched fluctuating noises—BOING—higher pitched fluctuating noises—BOING BOING—static—BOING—static—BOING BOING—STATIC STATIC STATIC—BOING!!—LIGHTNING STORM!!—ROBOT FLATULENCE + MORE STATIC + LIGHTNING STORM + CRAZY LIGHTNING STORM!!!—“YOU’VE GOT MAIL.”   

 

 

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